As a huge football guy, I’m not shy in saying I probably haven’t watched about 30-40% of the March Madness teams play at all. I do love basketball and play it or will watch it when it’s on TV, but I’m not a huge college basketball guy. That being said, I still have a decent knowledge of what’s going on within the NCAA D-1 world and what’s happening. So I decided to try to make this article a little more college football friendly. Hopefully, it will help us get through the chaotic month of March and kill some time until Kickoff.

West Region:

The West is a pretty easy region this year. The Regions are essentially all of the 68 teams broken up into different groups, or conferences, even. So, this cupcake of a conference will be known as the PAC-12. Yes, Expectations are always high for the PAC-12, and they will be for this region too. However, when the best team is Xavier, you have problems. Let’s move on to some more in-depth Analysis.

Xavier vs NCC/TSU:

Basically Bama when they play Florida A&M or some unknown School. NEXT

Missouri vs Florida State

I mean, we can actually use these schools’ football teams for this comparison. Both are absolute garbage, have 1 or 2 known players, but their fan bases act like they’ve had drinks with the backup long snapper and if someone doesn’t know the center’s favorite Gatorade flavor, he’s not a “True Fan”

OSU vs South Dakota St.

Get the wheels on the bandwagon Bus Rollin. OSU has been very dominant this year, but they’ve also blew it in games they’ve should have won. (COUGH OSU VS IOWA). So, we will let them stick with their own name for now. South Dakota St, on the other hand is looking to play Cinderella and get the Big Upset. IMO I think OSU will blow this game and lose, so give SDSU the tag of Troy against LSU this past season.

Gonzaga vs UNCG

Gonzaga is Oklahoma. UNCG is Kansas. Hold your crotches, people, it will get messy.

Houston vs San Diego St.

I love these match ups because it’s like the NCAA molded this to help me write this. Both of these teams have VERY MEDIOCRE football programs. They decide to show up when they want to and other times it looks like my intramural team would poop on these teams. This is a toss-up, because SDSU decided to start playing real basketball towards the end of the season and Houston decided to choke in good ole Big 12 Fashion.

Michigan vs Montana

Oh boy, if only Jim Harbaugh’s football team had a sprinkle of talent this hoops team has. I’d give this Michigan team a tag of Wisconsin. They are great, but not amazing to where we all should love and support them. Montana, on the other hand, is a very difficult one to give a tag to. I’d say the best is Memphis. They don’t know how they got there, but they did and they’re just gonna keep on rolling with it.

Texas A&M vs Providence

MY AGGIES ARE GOIN’ DANCING….. and shit it is again Providence. This is like the Baylor-TTU football game a while back. 2014-15-16, any one of those years. It will be a shootout and a team from Texas will come out on top. (Not biased at all whatsoever.)

UNC vs Lipscomb

“Who the hell is Lipscomb”-Everyone that doesn’t go to Lipscomb. Well, they’re the new kids on the block thanks to their first tournament appearance ever. So, they get the UAB football tag. I know UAB was a football program before, but after this renewal of the program, they’re fresh and brand spanking new. This UNC team is like the Clemson team this year. New faces, Same results. It’s an expectation UNC makes it to the tourney, and now with Dabo at the helm of Clemson, the same is expected from Clemson football.

Midwest Region:

Oh. My. God. It’s a Powerhouse reunion in this conference. Kansas/Mich St./Auburn/Duke in one region. I’m slapping this with the Good Ole’ SEC Conference comparison. It Just Means More (To put all the best teams in one place and see what happens). I wouldn’t be surprised if this region just goes with highest seeds only. With so many dominant teams and players, it’ll be fun to watch (like a UCF Championship Parade).

Kansas vs Penn

Kansas is Oklahoma (“Go Watch Basketball”-Baker Mayfield). Excellence is always expected and is almost always given by these Jayhawks. Graham, the Big 12 POTY, is the Baker Mayfield of this team, but without the DUI and crotch grabbing and he’s not 6′ and not a QB but you get the point. Penn is Iowa football. They have 1 big win (OSU) and they will ride it until the end of time (Yes, Looking at you Bossman).

Seton Hall vs NC State

Seton Hall ends up in this damn tournament every year it seems and I always choose them just because of their badass logo. And NC State has been a very quiet team in the ACC. So this matchup is kinda like a PAC After Dark game. Everyone doesn’t know about it, but things are gonna get weird.

Clemson vs New Mexico St.

Ahhhh, Clemson vs My School’s (Grand Canyon) Rival. Clemson is Georgia and New Mexico St. is Vanderbilt. Go Bulldogs (Tigers).

(In actuality, and don’t tell GCU im saying this, im rooting hard for this New Mexico State team. They’re really like an Auburn and will F*** some people up.)

Auburn vs Charleston

War. Damn. Eagle. Auburn basketball embodies their football team. I’m saying this due to the fact that they can decide to beat Bama in the Iron Bowl, but in a game that counts (SEC Championship for Hoops), they shit the bed. Charleston will be looking to play upset here, so they are UCF here. (Note: Sorry Liam, but they’re gonna get their teeth knocked in).

TCU vs ASU/Syracuse

ASU and Syracuse both do NOT deserve to be in this tourney. They are the people who stand against the back wall at prom and get asked to dance out of guilt. So, they get the good ole OSU Label from 2016 because they don’t deserve to be there and another team does. This TCU team had potential, but towards the end of the season, couldn’t tap much of it. So basically, they are USC when Darnold decided to not fumble the ball.

Michigan St. vs Bucknell

MSU is Georgia Tech. Bucknell is Cumberland. 222-0. There will be blood. Or scandals. Who knows at this point.

URI vs Oklahoma

Oklahoma does not deserve to be in. Our own Patrick Norton said some nice things about it but basically they were GARBAGE the second half of this year.  They are the Oregon State. Absolute ass. URI is Virginia Tech. They always start off hot, somehow lose the fire and becoming a lukewarm mess that somehow survives and makes it in.

Duke vs Iona

Ahhhh, Duke. America’s Axis Power. They are the Alabama mentality of basketball. Unless you’re a Duke fan, you hate Duke. But our stand-in Allied Power Iona isn’t giving us the greatest feeling. They are like UNC football. You don’t know what to expect, but in reality you know it’s about to be horrible.

So, hopefully this will help some of us football guys with understanding how the March Madness Tournament works out. It’s no breeze, but anything to help make Shooty Hoops easier.

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