As you all know, Luka Doncic was selected third overall by the Atlanta Hawks then shipped to the Dallas Mavericks in last night’s NBA Draft. It was a huge moment for the Croatian superstar, maybe the biggest of his life to date.
That didn’t matter because his mother stole the entire show, she instantly became the biggest sensation of the NBA. No one currently in the league has a mother that smoking hot. She is the milf of all milfs, the woman to change the way Americans draft European players forever. But there is no possible way Luka Doncic could have grown up in America and had the same success in basketball with his mother being that hot.
AAU basketball is one of the greatest facets of life, with all the top basketball players from all over the state playing each other every weekend. This also brings out the most savage dudes in the city who would do anything to bang your mom. From prior experience, I know that if your mom is above a 4 on the milf chart, she’s really like an 8 because milfs get that +4 bump when they are over 40. So, with Luka Doncic’s mother, Mirjam Poterbin, being that good looking and dudes messing with him all the time, I don’t think for a second he could have made it week in and week out with all the jokes coming at him about his milf of a mother.
From ages of 13 to, well, now, dudes are constantly watching porn about milfs, and it only takes one video titled “Hot mommy bangs son’s friend while son is at basketball practice” for a dude on his basketball team to skip practice and end up at Luka’s house trying to lay the pipe. Every man’s dream is to smash a milf, so when all these dudes are at max testosterone level playing through high school, it would have been Doncic’s worst nightmare bringing his mother around.
No matter how mentally tough you are, having a hot mom has got to be hard. Every day you are fighting off your friends at practice and even more so when they come over to your house. This would have just made it impossible for Doncic to develop the same basketball skill as all the other kids because he was the constant butt of jokes.
Hopefully, now his Dallas Maverick teammates will be mature enough to not talk about his model mom all practice. Luckily, since he grew up in Croatia he can just play the “I don’t speak English card,” though, which works in most cases anyways. Good luck to Luka Doncic in his NBA career and here’s to hoping his hot mother won’t be what he is most remembered for at the end of the day.
– Johnny Rambos