I was recently showing my friend the El Pollo series of articles. This is for a few reasons, the biggest of which being I think they are fantastic articles and some of my best work. One of his first questions to me was, “Why a chicken?” In the first installment of this Pulitzer-nominated series, I said it was because I think a chicken is extremely non-footbally. But recently, I have restarted watching Breaking Bad, which is the greatest work in the history of television. I think subconsciously, I have always wanted to be on a level similar to that of Gustavo Fring, owner of Los Pollos Hermanos. So in some cosmic capacity, I think that played into the choice of my alter ego.

If you cared enough to read all of that, then I value you greatly as a reader and I would love to hear from you so I can send you an original El Pollo sticker for your laptop or the inside of your garbage can or something. Also, if you read that I’m assuming you actually follow this series and I’d like to take this as an opportunity to thank you. I hope that my 0-3 week last week did not change your view on me in any way. That bumps me back to an even 8-8, which I have said before is where I belong. So now I am comfortable. Watch out, actual experts.

Before I get started, I would like to put the spotlight on a game that is absolutely ripping my heart in two. Louisiana Tech, who I support due to the irrational but honorable heart they showed in their loss to Mississippi State, is playing UAB, which is a squad I have been very vocally behind on The Campus Cover (official podcast of the UAB Blazers). I refuse to choose a winner. I will cry throughout the entirety of this football game as I watch each of my unreasonable favorite teams try to annihilate each other. Why can they not both just win?

I (might have) played for Bowling Green

There are roughly 50 players that were once a Bowling Green Falcon that made it to the NFL in some capacity. Of those, only five have played double-digit years and two have the last name of Jones. P.J. Pope does not fall under either of those categories, but he has my name. I mean kinda at least. I don’t put the periods in there because that’s sort of bull shit.

But that doesn’t rule out the fact that P.J. Pope is actually just me and I actually played in the NFL. I mean it might be a stretch considering he’s 5’9″ and 212 pounds and I am 180 with the majority of that sitting in my beer gut. Regardless of what you think of my (maybe) NFL career as a running back, I respect the history of Bowling Green football for allowing one of the men in the long and fruitful history of men named PJ to carry the football for them. Go Falcons.

Ball State University’s name gets slept on

I don’t know why the name Ball State doesn’t get more love. There are endless marketing opportunities for that athletic department to utilize. I mean really, it has “ball” in the university name. Maybe it is because they generally don’t ball in any of the sports in a nationally-relevant sense. But let me shed some light on the name right now. It sounds fake almost. It’s like the name of a school from some poorly-made comedy series with a team that is just unstoppable. They will ball their way to victory this week.

Redemption for Tulsa

Previously, Tulsa caught some flak from me just due to timeliness and the fact that their mascot is the Golden Hurricanes. But this week, I want to give them some redemption. They are battling Tulane in a weather-related battle. This one really just comes down to your preference of cool weather phenomenons. I have never seen either a Golden Hurricane or a Green Wave, but I certainly know which I would like to see more. Golden Hurricane 9 times out of 10.

Honestly consider how fucking dope that would be. When you tune in to the weather channel, would it look gold on the radar? Or would gold rain from the sky? I mean as dangerous as that would be, just consider the aftermath. The streets would be filled with gold. Don’t consider how much the value of gold would depreciate. Consider how fun it would be to hold a gold bar that fell out of the sky.

A Green Wave just sounds vaguely toxic.

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Don’t forget the dissentary the green wave would give you