If you don’t know by now, all of us here at Student Union love music. We grade NBA draft prospects based off of Ye songs.. Hell, we even give out our favorite songs of the week for Friday Fire. In this, we have seen songs from Takashi 69 all the way to Johnny Cash. So, after looking back on a few of these articles, with the creative thinking I have, I have come up with a few “old school” as well as “new school” artists and created a so-called “Band” and the respected sports they will compete in.
Hank Williams. Country legend, ladies man, and possible possession WR? Hank stood at 6’0 and was rumored to be around 170, which is not great for today’s football standards. However, have you seen some of the guys back in the day who played Wide receiver at both the College anold NFL level? If Hank had hands like he had the vocal cords to hit the hit notes, he would be a legend. (Yes, before you ask, this is from the movie I Saw The Light, and yes, it is the Walmart kid song.)
I mean come on, you didn’t expect me to have Biggie in this? 6’2, 400 pounds… My god the QB’s blind side would be more protected than his snack drawer. Now if only we had his or Tupac’s number to hit them up down in Jamaica, because we all know that they are alive.
Machine Gun Kelly
More shorter and more vocal Birdman has made this list for one reason only. Height. Standing at a brisk yet good 6’4 (Great height in my personal experience), Kelly would be able to guard in CBB like no tomorrow. His arms look about 3 1/3 feet wide each and if he had a temper like he did putting together trash music (yeah, I said it), he would take home the Wooden easily.
Post Malone may look like the average hill billy and chain smokes like your aunt at a family Bar-B-Que, but his is an absolute unit of a man. Slighty overweight, but I believe that he could fill a LineBacker or even a Tight End roll on the college scene. With the experience of binge drinking Bud Light’s like a 18 Year Old Freshman, Posty would be a Rockstar…
We all know 2 Chainz. Rocking the Willy Wonka glasses and obviously 2 chains, he has jumped into the rap scene in the past few years. But one thing I read about him when I was writing this caught my eye…
He had a 4.2 GPA in High School and was a All-League player for basketball.
He’s 6’5, drops bars like he dropped ankles, and will hit you with a random autotoned “Yeah” when he fells like it.
So yeah “He’s Different”.
Fun Fact: I was Right Now years old when I found out Flo Rida is actually Florida…yeah, i’m that smart. But anyways, Flo Rida is built like a god damn tank. 6’3, around 245 of pure muscle, move over Todd Gurley we have ourselves a new Gawd RB in the college Scene.
Bonus: Bruno Mars
You may be asking yourself, why is this beautiful light-skinned bastard on this list? Well, for one good reason only…
Bruno Mars is 5’5, 130 pounds…
He was destined to become a Jockey and win a Triple Crown, but instead he does a few hip thrust and all women love him. Plus, he can hit you with that golden smile, but can’t reach on the top shelf to grab his Versace…