As we slump towards the start of football season, a dead spot in the college athletics calendar is at hand. For everyone of all ages, though, it’s almost #SavageSzn, and that means a lot of right-swiping for those on the dating app, Tinder. Even some of your favorite college coaches are getting in on the action this offseason to let off some steam from all of the stresses of the job, all while enjoying the summer.

Lane, 42

Head Football Coach

Florida Atlantic University

Bio:

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time”

Spotify Anthem: Freaky Friday (feat. Chris Brown) – Lil Dicky

This is absolutely Kiffin’s opening line as he is and will continue to be the most amusing coach on the social media landscape to follow. Joey Freshwater is the king of the app and is having the most success in division one. Not to mention his pool IS Boca Raton. Not. Too. Shabby.

Nick, 66

Head Football Coach

University of Alabama

Bio:

“If you want an NFL career swipe left, if you want a ring swipe right”

Spotify Anthem: We Are The Champions – Queen

Our very own Andy Jones helped with this one. As the leader of one of the most memorable dynasties of recent history, we find a lot of recruits swiping right here. Might be a bio that would pick up some stage five clingers on the way, though.

Chip, 54

Head Football Coach

University of California, Los Angeles

Bio:

“My fast offensive schemes translate to both the gridiron AND the sheets, I’ll never leave you disappointed in the end.”

Spotify Anthem: Everytime We Touch – Cascada

Another helpful line from our pal Andy. Despite what he might think about himself, he always seems to fall short in the big game. A classic example of overvaluing yourself on Tinder to put yourself one peg above your actual league.

Jim, 54

Head Football Coach

University of Michigan

Bio:

“Swipe right and you’ll never have to worry about showing up to The Game”

Spotify Anthem: Sandstorm – Darude

*everybody knows Darude’s “Sandstorm”, but nobody actually likes it.

An homage to the one who’s never beaten Ohio State. From all of us fans of OSU, we thank you, Mr. Harbaugh. But damn, look at that body.

Leave a Reply

avatar