We apologize for the lateness of this week’s advice column from America’s favorite psychologist, Joey Freshwater. I was in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach working Alabama softball and Joey was…probably drunk somewhere. Hey, it was Mardi Gras weekend, after all. So I’ll cut the chit-chat and we’ll dig right in to Joey’s answers to your questions. Remember, if you have something for Joey, send those inquiries to email@example.com. We answer anything and everything. Here we go:
Hey Joey, what a great game last Sunday in the Super Bowl. What are your thoughts about the game?
Oh man, I loved this most recent Super Bowl. Every year, me and my buddy Bryant from Slapout, Alabama, get together to watch the Super Bowl, and I think he described that game the best. Bryant told me, “Doug Pederson is the greatest coach of all time.” Now, I don’t really think that’s true, but Doug Pederson is definitely down to gamble. Those two fourth down calls were a risk not many other NFL coaches would take. The only other Super Bowl call I can think of as ballsy as the trick play to Nick Foles was Sean Payton’s call for an onside kick to open the second half against the Colts. Great offensive performances from both teams, but Nick Foles stared down Brady and won. I hope more Super Bowls are like this last one.
What’s up Joey! The game was great, halftime was okay, but I thought the commercials were fire. Did you have a favorite commercial from this year’s Super Bowl?
That Tide ad was something special. Those little pods they have are something crazy. No clue how they magically make my clothes clean, but they’re brilliant. Plus, the actor they got to do it was from that weird alien show called Stranger Danger or Stranger Men or something. I watched a couple episodes of it, but I am horrified of aliens so I couldn’t finish.
Wednesday was National Signing Day, and Alabama came in at sixth and seventh in most team rankings. I know they’re coming off a national championship, and there’s a lot of youth on the roster, but is this a sign that Nick Saban is slowing down?
If football were all about talent, then coaching wouldn’t matter at all. We all know that isn’t the case. There are tons of examples where teams bring the best players out to the field every Saturday and still lose games. Look at LSU and all of the great athletes they have put into the NFL. I’ve seen jokes calling them NFLSU and the more common DBU because of all the defensive backs LSU has put in the league in the past couple years. However, despite all of these talented players, LSU can’t seem to transfer all that talent into skill. It’s the exact same for every other team throughout the country, even for Alabama. Last year, Alabama was arguably one of the greatest college football teams ever but still (as painful as it is to remember) couldn’t close against Clemson. Now, that being said, having talent never hurts and recruiting classes are easy ways to gauge how good a team will be in the next couple years. I find as long as you have a top-10 recruiting class, you’re doing something right. It’s hard to judge high school kids who are all playing different levels of opposition, so not all of these top recruits will pan out. In other words, no, I don’t think Saban is slowing down and I doubt he slows down for a while.
JOEY! FOOTBALL IS OVER!! What can we do to quench our thirst for gridiron action until college football starts again in August?
Two words: jug lining. All I’m gonna do all summer is go catch catfish over in the Black Warrior River in my flatboat. Just tie a hook to a milk jug, put some bait on there, and just wait till that jug goes nuts. I throw out about 15-20 of those and get a litter of those kitties real quick.
Hey Joey, Black Panther is coming out next weekend, and it’s prompted a big conversation about which Marvel heroes are the best. If you needed protection, which two Marvel superheroes would you want by your side?
There are a lot of cool Marvel superheroes, but if I needed two for protection it’s very easy to choose. Obviously, Iron Man and the Hulk would be by my side. Both of those guys dominate in every single fight that comes their way and, with the Hulk’s strength and Iron Man being a straight robot, no one is getting close to me. I would have Hulk stand right next to me the whole fight and just let Iron Man fly around and do his thing. Also, I’m a big fan of anything Robert Downey Jr., does so that definitely weighed in while making my decision.
Alright Joey, I have a question about relationships. There’s a girl I’ve liked for a long time, but I can’t get a read on her. We hang out all the time, and we talk a ton. But I’m too nervous to ask her out because I don’t want things to get awkward and our friendship to end. What should I do?
Well, if I had one word of advice for you, it’s to be bold. Whether it’s Doritos Locos Tacos or men, girls are a fan of the boldest thing out there. As long as you believe in yourself, or as long as she thinks you believe in yourself, you’re in there.
Desert Island Game, Joey. You’ve got three songs you can put on your iPod to listen to for the rest if your life. What are they?
I don’t even need to think about the first one because it’s obviously Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It’s a pure timeless classic for all ages. My second choice is Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. We are huge Stevie Nicks fans over in Eutaw. My third song may come as a surprise but it’s C.R.E.A.M. by the Wu-Tang Clan. Rock is great, but sometimes I need to spice things up a bit.
If you want to ask Joey something in next week’s column, shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also tweet me or DM me your questions, just send them to @gray_robertson. Anonymity is always guaranteed. Have a great Sunday and a great week!