Urban Dictionary describes a football guy as “A person, usually a coach, who is addicted to football and will do anything no matter how ridiculous to help his team win. Many times when football guys lose football, they go through severe withdraws and sometimes can die.” When I think of a football guy, many images come to my brain. I think of a fullback who rocks a neck roll. Maybe a linebacker that doesn’t wear gloves and sticks his nose into every play. I also think of a guy who’s a baller on the field and also a great dude off the field.
What am I constituting as a football guy? I think that someone who has a unique name will be in the football guy drip, and small school players make the football guy list. Here is my 2023 NFL Draft Big Board of Football Guys.
North Dakota State OG Cody Mauch
Cody Mauch has the early lead for Football Guy of the Year. The redshirt senior was at North Dakota State for six seasons and originally came in as a tight end. Weighing in around 220 pounds, the Bison moved Mauch to the offensive line and he realized he needed to gain weight. Mauch went to work at the North Dakota State dining hall. The university’s dining plan is all you can eat instead of most schools using swipes. Mauch would go into the dining hall and absolutely maul everything in site, but his favorite was the Stromboli station. I’ll say this: if Massachusetts Maritime had strictly a Stromboli station I’d have also gained 85 pounds like Mauch.
In addition to Mauch mucking Stromboli, he has more football guy tendencies. Football guys are usually unique individuals and following NDSUs win over Incarnate Word in the FCS semifinals, Mauch broke out a fiddle and played a little ditty. That’s badass. The long haired ginger with two missing front teeth is a potential second round selection, but he’s my number one pick in the Football Guy draft.
Northern Illinois QB Rocky Lombardi
WHAT A NAME. Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Lombardi for giving your son a badass name. His first name is of one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist, Rocky Balboa. A hard nosed boxer who punched meat in a freezer. If Rocky Balboa played football, he would have been a football guy. Rocky’s last name is Lombardi which is the name of the trophy the Super Bowl winning team receives. Rocky Lombardi has a football guy name and is from a family of football guys. His brother plays offensive line at West Point, his grandfather is in the Illinois High School Football Coaches Association Hall of Fame, and his dad played football at Arizona State and has coached for thirty plus years.
Iowa ILB Jack Campbell
Jack Campbell is probably the best inside linebacker in this year’s draft. He’s a tackling machine and makes the Football Guy Big Board because of his hard nosed play. The enterprise leadership major cleaned up with awards as he was named an All-American, won the Butkus Award, William V. Campbell Trophy, and Nagurski-Woodson Defensive Player of the Year. Campbell is a stoic figure and made 125 tackles this season.
USC OT Andrew Vorhees
If only Mr. and Mrs. Vorhees named their son Jason. I understand that Jason Voorhees and Andrew Vorhees have different spellings of their last name, but it’d be pretty intimidating as a defensive end if you had to face Jason Vorhees. Had Andrew been named Jason, he could rock a custom pair of Mache custom cleats with the Jason mask and machete on it. Andrew’s name alone gets him on this list, but he’s also a beast in the trenches that kept Caleb Williams upright this season.
San Diego State S Patrick McMorris
While I don’t know too much about Patrick McMorris, in my research I stumbled across a picture that made me add McMorris to my big board. In 2021, San Diego State played UTSA in the Frisco Bowl. The Aztecs won 38-24 and it led to an unreal post game flick of McMorris.
McMorris had 7 tackles and 1 pass breakup in the game then downed a Kiwi Quencher smoothie. The moment was captured when McMorris was sipping the smoothie and it’s too cold not to acknowledge. This past season, he had 61 tackles and 5 pass breakups.
North Dakota State FB Hunter Luepke
For some odd reason, North Dakota State breeds football guys. Two Bison football players are on my big board with Mauch being the number one guy. Hunter Luepke plays the ultimate football guys position as he’s a fullback and also wears the best football guy number: 44. Something about 44 radiates a football guy sentiment. Maybe because the league’s best fullback Kyle Juszczyk wears it. I don’t know, but I know that football guys wear 44. Luepke carried the rock more than most fullbacks this season as he rushed for 619 yards on 98 carries and 9 touchdowns. He’s the first of many fullbacks on this big board.
South Dakota State TE Tucker Kraft
Just one state south from the Bison, we have the National Champion Jackrabbits who had football guy Tucker Kraft catching passes. While Kraft did reel in 27 passes for 348 yards and 3 touchdowns, he’s here because he’s a mauler in the run game. He’ll be a great blocking tight end in the league because he’s a selfless player. That’s the embodiment of a football guy.
Oregon ILB Noah Sewell
There aren’t a whole lot of Power Five guys on my Big Board, but Noah Sewell is one of the few. His brother Penei was a football guy for the Ducks because of his leadership and tenacity. Noah is no different. He’s a dominant inside linebacker as he made 55 tackles and 1.5 sacks this season, but the driving factor of him making the list is his neck roll. While Oregons jerseys are drippy, Sewell takes it to the next level. He rocks a badass neck collar, turf tape, and short socks which is a fire look for a linebacker. I’m still in the early stages of my research, but I think that having a neck collar makes guys play better.
Washington OT Jaxson Kirkland
We’ve got back-to-back PAC-12 football guys on my big board. While Sewell makes offensive players pay, Jaxson Kirkland punishes defenders. The 6’7 offensive tackle is a bull in the run game and is even more ferocious in pass protection. For me, certain schools symbolize football guys. On that list would probably be North and South Dakota State, DII and DIII schools, and in the Power 5 it’s Washington, Wisconsin, and Rutgers. For Washington, they’ve had multiple football guys I love like Ben Burr-Kirven and Vita Vea. Kirkland joins that list because of his tenacious play and swag. He has a dope gridded face mask, wears no knee pads, and a small elbow brace. Kirkland looks like a football guy and place just like one.
Kansas State RB Deuce Vaughn
At Kansas State, Deuce Vaughn was a human highlight reel. He was a threat out of the backfield in the pass game and running the ball, he was a beast. Collin Klein lined him up all over the field and he excelled. What’s most impressive about Vaughn’s stats and performance is that he stands at only 5’6. I love seeing a fellow short king thrive and be one of the nation’s best running backs. He was able to turn nothing into something, a possible tackle for loss into an eleven yard gain. Another guy who was able to do this at Kansas State was 5’6 Darren Sproles.
Iowa FB Monte Pottebaum
Iowa fullback Monte Pottebaum is the top football guy fullback on my big board. For starters, Pottebaum plays fullback in the most run heavy offense in the country. He’s used very often and kills linebackers trying to meet him in the hole. Pottebaum also has a blonde mullet that touches his back. That’s an outstanding look for a fullback. Lastly, Pottebaum rocks a neck roll and is every bit of 246 pounds that you see. He’s an absolute unit that caught 3 passes for 37 yards in 2022.
Ithaca OG Jake Villanueva
Jake Villanueva right here is my bread and butter. Villanueva played for DIII Ithaca College in New York and I actually had the chance to watch him play against Bridgewater State this season. He’s a bully in the trenches and is successful in zone schemes against athletic defensive ends. At the NFL level, Jake is probably a guard at 6’4, but he’s a solid athlete and could play tackle. I love seeing DIII players get a shot at playing at the next level because as a former DIII football player and now a coach, I know that there are a lot of ballers at this level. Hopefully an NFL team gives Villanueva a shot to block for them because he’s a hell of a player.
In addition, Villanueva has solid offensive line drip. He rocks 79 which is a good offensive lineman number. He also sports a shooter sleeve on his right arm, a Nike leg sleeve on his right leg, and arm bands on that same leg.
Southern Illinois FB Javon Williams
Williams hails from DII Southern Illinois and he’s a baller. While I have him listed as a fullback, Williams did it all for the Salukis over his career. Williams played halfback, fullback, receiver, Wildcat quarterback, and return specialist. Whoever takes him gets a dude who can do literally everything. You need him to rush for a touchdown? He’s the man. How about catch a touchdown? You can count on Williams. But can he fill up the waters? Absolutely. A few years ago Jeremy Chinn came out of SIU and has balled for the Panthers. Now, Williams could be the next good Saluki in the NFL.
Rutgers P Adam Korsak
Korsak has an interesting story. He’s one of the few Australian punters in college football, but before punting nukes for the Scarlett Knights, Korsak was killing it in multiple other sports. He was a four-time state representative in Australian football and cricket, a state selection in golf during the 2012-13 season, a national representative in cricket from 2013-14, and played midfielder in Australian football. Football guys should be multifaceted individuals like Mauch shredding with a fiddle. Korsak seemingly can do it all. I’ll be honest, I love this guy so much I’d be fine with the Vikings burning a first rounder on him.
Air Force FB Brad Roberts
Service Academy cats get a bump on my big board. A few years ago, Diego Fagot and Malcolm Perry were on my big board, and now Brad Roberts from Air Force makes it. While he’ll most likely be a fullback at the NFL level, Roberts killed it in the Falcons backfield. He was the Mountain West Offensive Player of the Year and led the nation in rushing with 1,728 yards. Service Academy dudes are football guys, but one who really balls will always be on my big board. Myself and the rest of America are rooting for Roberts to make a roster.
Michigan State P Bryce Baringer
What’s not to love about Bryce Baringer? Baringer is a sixth year senior from Michigan State and was an All-American this past season. The punter as a nuclear leg as he averaged 49 yards per punt in 2022. I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Baringer rocks the Rodrigo Blankenship look. He respects the specs. The specs are an all time legendary look and Baringer pulls it off to the absolute max and that’s why he’s a football guy.
