PJ Guippone

Baker Mayfield. Just read that beautiful name. Here, I’ll say it again. BAKER. MAYFIELD. I can’t stress this enough. Baker Mayfield is just really fucking good at football. Like really good. Like really, really good.

Say what you will about all these tall men on the west coast that are “good pro prospects” or whatever. You can have them. I just want Baker Mayfield. Don’t you dare try to tell me there is a better quarterback than him in college football. I will not hear it. I simply will not.

For those of you unaware because you just don’t like awesome football, The Oklahoma Sooners just absolutely wopped the Ohio State Buckeyes. At the horseshoe. Ohio State’s defense looked like a high school team wandered on the field and was trying to stop division one talent in the second half. You know why? I’ll give you one guess.

Yep, you’re right. It’s Baker Mayfield. The guy that Kirk Herbstreit compared to Brett Favre. Yeah, like that Brett Favre. Chris Fowler was shocked by the comp, just as probably everyone else watching was, but Herbstreit doubled down on it. Is Baker Mayfield Brett Favre? Not quite. He hasn’t actually played a single down in the NFL (yet). But, he is still damn good at football. Did I mention he’s the best quarterback in college football? I hope everyone is as excited as I am about this. If you’re not, or you’re an Ohio State fan, you can stop reading. But holy shit. Baker Mayfield.

And he didn’t stop with the whole football thing. This man just oozes confidence and swagger. Watch this video and tell me you wouldn’t run through a wall for Baker Mayfield.

This is Hall of Fame-level disrespect. Baker Mayfield owns the entire city of Columbus, Ohio now. He needs a key to the city. He needs a Heisman Trophy. He needs a National Championship trophy. This man deserves the world.

I received two separate texts during the fourth quarter of Mayfield’s 386 yard and 3 touchdown performance regarding his probable sexual prowess. One reading, “Is there anyone in this world that has more sex on a daily basis than baker mayfield?” All I could muster in response was, “no.” The second, simply, “Baker Mayfield fucks,” to which I added a heart reaction.

I love Baker Mayfield. I don’t care how bad of an article this is. I just wrote four hundred words of absolutely nothing. He’s my hero. That’s all there is to it. Boomer Sooner, baby.