Zack Greinke has had a phenomenal career. Since his debut in 2004, he has been a six-time All-Star and a six-time Gold Glove winner. In addition, he won the Cy Young award in 2009 and has finished as the league’s ERA champion twice. He has 208 career wins and a career ERA of 3.37. At age 36, he is also a borderline Hall of Famer.
Greinke has become a fan favorite throughout his tenure in the MLB. However, it is not for his ability on the field (although that undoubtedly plays a role). Instead, Greinke has gathered a following for his humorous off-field incidents. He has gifted baseball fans with many a laugh, dating all the way back to his initial call to the majors.
Here are some of the best Zack Greinke stories known to man.
Greinke Wanted to Get Sent Down
In 2004, Mike Jirschele was the manager of the Omaha Storm Chasers, Triple-A affiliates for the Kansas City Royals. Early in the year, he called a 20-year-old Greinke into his office and informed him that he was being promoted to the majors.
According to Jirschele, Greinke paused for a long time, and finally said, “I don’t know. Do you think if we asked them, they would let me go back to Single-A and be a shortstop? I think I can be a pretty good shortstop.”
Jirschele expressed his disbelief, saying, “What are you talking about? They’re calling you to the big leagues… This is your dream.”
Greinke simply responded with, “Oh, okay.”, and promptly left the office. Jirschele says he still does not know if Greinke was serious or not.
“You just never knew with Zack.”
Greinke’s First MLB Home Run
The following year, 2005, Greinke spent his first full season in the majors, starting 33 games for Kansas City. That season, the Royals were really, really bad. In the midst of a 106-loss season, Greinke was tagged with 17 of those on the mound.
During the season, Kansas City GM Allard Baird had a meeting with the team’s manager, Buddy Bell. As Baird recounted it to The Athletic, “[Greinke] came in the office and said, ‘You know, hitting’s not that hard’.”
“Buddy and I looked at each other and I said, ‘Zack, elaborate,'” Baird continued. “He started giving all these reasons, and on the surface, they were good reasons, but it takes more than that to be a good hitter… We went through the schedule and realized there was a chance he might get to hit [in Arizona]… [The day of Greinke’s start], Buddy and I are in the office. He was going by, and I said, “Come in here, Zack. You’re going to get your chance to hit. You still feel confident it’s pretty easy to hit?”
Greinke replied, “I still feel very confident.”
Laird and Bell laughed, but as Laird recounted, “If you look at his start out there, he got banged around pretty good. But his first at-bat, he hits a home run, and I’ll never forget it.”
Greinke has gone on to win the Silver Slugger award twice (2013, 2019).
Greinke Teaches Alex Gordon How to Hit
(Personally, this is my favorite one.)
This story actually goes hand-in-hand with the previous one. Naturally, after hitting his first career home run, Greinke was pretty excited about it. Here’s the video of that home run:
As the story goes, later into Greinke’s tenure with the Royals, the team was struggling. Well, they struggled essentially the entire time Greinke was there, but more specifically, Alex Gordon was struggling. He was frustrated by his lack of production at the plate, and Greinke offered to help.
Gordon, initially, was excited. It was well-known that Greinke had a phenomenal eye, and Gordon figured he would be able to provide some solid advice. The two walked into the film room, where Greinke subsequently showed Gordon the above highlight. After the two of them watched Greinke’s home run a few times, he turned to Gordon and simply said, “Do more of that.”
Carlos Quentin Breaks Greinke’s Collarbone
Greinke and Carlos Quentin had some beef, dating all the way back to 2009. When the former AL Central division rivals squared off out west in 2013, things got chippy, to say the least.
Cool fight, huh? Well, let’s take another look at it. When Quentin charges Greinke, Greinke lowers his shoulder, and the impact from Quentin shattered Greinke’s collarbone (9 seconds into the video).
However, Greinke not only stays on his feet but also continued to grapple with Quentin. The two of them were forced to the bottom of that massive dogpile.
By the way, doesn’t Carlos Quentin kind of look like Ben Affleck? A little bit, right?
Zack Greinke: Bathroom Cop
2013 was the pitcher’s first year with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and he made an impact right away. Winning 15 games with an ERA of 2.63, he was LA’s best starter not named Kershaw. The fight with Quentin in April helped endear him to his new teammates, and when coupled with his tremendous skill set, made him an important figure in the locker room.
Near the end of the season, Dodgers manager Don Mattingly (now with Miami) called a team meeting. During the meeting, the typically quiet Greinke stood up and addressed the team. According to Molly Knight’s book, “The Best Team Money Can Buy”, this is what he said:
“Some of you guys have been doing the number two, and not washing your hands. It’s not good. I noticed it even happening earlier today. So if you guys could just be better about it, that would be great.”
The meeting was called by Mattingly because the Dodgers were just a few wins away from clinching their division, but had been scuffling a bit in recent games. Greinke’s mini-speech about his teammates “doing the number two” cracked them up laughing (even though he was dead serious), and broke all the tension in the locker room. They won their game that night and clinched the NL West two days later.
(Molly Knight’s fantastic book can be purchased here)
Zack Greinke vs Chipotle
The saga of Zack Greinke vs Chipotle, the Mexican food restaurant, is well-documented. His thoughts on the Chipotle guacamole became arguably the best-known Greinke quote.
“I like the guacamole. Now, I don’t really love the guacamole, so I get it when I feel like it. They changed their guacamole from $1.50 to $1.80. I mean, $1.50 is already pretty darn high. So they changed it to $1.80, and I’ll never again get guacamole. It’s not about the guacamole itself, I just don’t want to let them win.”
This quote is from 2009, and at that point, Greinke had nearly $9 million in career earnings. At the end of the 2020 season, he had raked in a total of $227 million since his professional career began.
But even though his guacamole budget is likely much higher now, an extremely specific clause in his contract prevents that from being an issue for a very long time.
When Greinke signed with the Arizona Diamondbacks, the deal made waves. At that point, it had the largest annual value (six years, $206.5 million for an AAV of over $34 million) for a contract in MLB history. However, money wasn’t the only incentive coming from Arizona.
Greinke’s contract also included:
- Ten tons of guacamole
- A minority stake in a Chipotle franchise
- A Blu-Ray copy of Shawshank Redemption
- A samurai sword
To be completely honest, I can’t find another source verifying the unique additions to his contract, so there is a very real possibility that it’s a joke. However, the fact that you can’t really tell is just so Greinke.
