Netflix has aggressively pushed its original content over the last few years. Some of their original content has been really bad and some has been really good, but most of it just falls somewhere in between.
The most recent Netflix original to catch fire is Bird Box. In short, it was a movie with a cool concept, some potential and a decent cast. What ended up happening was the concept was half-assed. What potential this movie did have dissipated as you realized it wasn’t getting better. And Sandra Bullock, the Alex Smith of actresses, was fine. None of the other characters were really unforgettable.
If you watched the Cheez-It Bowl last night, you have essentially seen Bird Box. The 10-7 OT thriller reminded me of many opinions that I had of Bird Box.
Hurting Yourself
7-0 at half time. 7-7 at the end of four quarters. That’s pretty much it. There was a field goal in OT and TCU won. Between the first touchdown and last field goal both teams committed costly errors.
Bird Box started and a poorly written first twenty minutes lead to Sandra Bullock being confined to a house while the rest of the world committed suicide, literally.
Shooting yourself in the foot was a common theme.
Unnecessary Scenes
Quarters one through three were bad. The fourth quarter didn’t get much better. OT was punishment for those who dared watch this game. The third quarter was unexceptional.
The scene where Olympia (stupid name for a character, also the only character whose name I remember) and Sandra Bullock talk about baby names was completely irrelevant to anything else in the movie. Kinda like the third quarter last night.
The Pop-Tart scene was stupid too. Why would you give your children strawberry Pop-Tarts? That was the most heinous thing I saw the entire movie. It’s the classic post-apocalyptic ‘hey look this used to be a thing but the world ended and this might be the last Pop-Tart in the world’ scene. But POP-TARTS!? Why not the last operational Chili’s or the last case of Natty Light? Huge swing and miss.
It’s Been Done Before and Done Better
Bird Box was pretty much The Happening without Mark Wahlberg.
TCU and Cal have both been way better than this in the past and they were nice enough to get together and remind us.
BUT
There Was a Pretty Big Difference
The Cheez-It Bowl had a clear conclusion. TCU won and Cal lost. No ifs, ands or buts.
Netflix has done this with quite a few of their original movies and I’m sick of it. These inconclusive, open-ended endings STINK. Netflix desperately wants to be the next big thing in the movie industry. Endings like this leave the opportunity to build a franchise out of a tour-de-force. The big issue here is that Netflix lacks movies good enough to warrant a sequel, let alone a franchise.
Conversely, the Cheez-It Bowl (God willing) will be back and cheesier then ever next year. Could you imagine Les Miles and an upstart Kansas program against Washington State’s Mike Leach next year for all the Cheez-Its!? Nothing Sandra Bullock can do could top that.
Criticisms Aside
I really enjoyed Bird Box and I had fun watching it. I’m a sucker for apocalypse movies, especially when you throw something supernatural in it. 5/10 movie, but fun and entertaining for the most part.
The Cheez-It Bowl is everything we love about college football. Mistakes, turnovers, the JV broadcast team–It’s all part of what makes bowl season great.
When you love something, you can see past its flaws.