Forget about Deshaun Watson. Put aside the preseason. Erase from your mind any competitions happening in camp. As an NFL fan and concerned journalist, I need to bring a bigger issue to everyones attention. Yesterday at the Buffalo Bills practice, they committed an egregious act…they didn’t play any music by female artists. (Pause for shocked and disgusted gasps).
The atrocious act was pointed out by Buffalo based AP writer John Wawrow, a very curious journalist.
What Should The Bills Punishment Be?
A lot of people are calling for the Bills staff and front office to be publicly executed. Personally, I’d prefer we go with more of a humiliation route of tarring and feathering them. Maybe that’s a bit too extreme. We could just cancel the Bills for not being PC enough? If NFL fans unite, we could probably convince the league to just take their games off the air or completely banish them to the CFL.
In all seriousness, I’m not entirely sure what Wawrow was trying to gain from tweeting this out. It’s not an important observation, and if I were his boss at the AP I’d be wondering why he’s tweeting about this rather than what’s happening during practice. As someone who has handled the aux cord for many team workouts and practices in high school and college sports, I can tell you that Adele or Whitney Houston doesn’t get you as fired up as Chief Keef, Van Halen, or Kodak Black. It’s just true.
Mr. Wawrow did update his followers about thirty minutes later with a riveting discovery.
We can all rest easy now.
Twitter Absolutely Bludgeoned Wawrow
If you go back and read a lot of my articles, you’ll see how much I do love Twitter. It’s beautiful in the way people can collectively pile on someone with a stupid tweet. Wawrow’s tweet was no different.
I do find it fascinating that Wawrow lives in such a bubble that this is an issue he felt necessary to tackle. What a simple life. I guess I do have to admire people who live life so insulated that this is what they think is a big deal. Or maybe I’m just more amazed that instead of tweeting about how Josh Allen or Jordan Poyer looks in practice, he went after the music choice.
My Recommendation For The Bills
In the past, people have complimented my versatility on the aux. That’s a top tier compliment to receive. Subtle brag. With that being said, I’m going to serve up five songs from female artists or that have a female feature that’s absolutely killer for Coach McDermott to play at practice so he can please bonehead journalists.
Ball For Me by Post Malone featuring Nicki Minaj
Ball For Me has a top-three female feature of all time on it from Nicki Minaj who is the queen of features. It’s got a good vibe and won’t take the Bills players out of their rhythm at practice.
Still Into You by Paramore
It’s just a banger. There was a solid pool of Paramore songs to pick from, but Still Into You is perfect. It’s not overly upbeat like Hard Times and is more known than Misery Business. The bands lead singer is also Haley Williams…a female.
Monster by Kanye West featuring Nicki Minaj, Jay-Z, Rick Ross, and Bon Iver
I absolutely love Monster and think that it should be in every practice playlist. Again, this song is a BANGER. I mentioned how Ball For Me has a top three female feature. Monster has the best ever from none other than Nicki Minaj. Once again, she obliterates her verse.
Levitating by Dua Lipa featuring Da Baby
While Ball For Me and Monster are rap, Levitating is a song to let loose a little. I imagine that you’d see some of Buffalo’s defensive backs or receivers bouncing around while Levitating bumps through the speakers.
good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo
Olivia Rodrigo is a true rocker. While I prefer traitor or drivers license, good 4 u is a great practice song. It might take some of the Bills players by surprise, but it gets you pumped up. It’s a curveball, but I highly recommend Sean McDermott adds it to the queue.
My final message to the Buffalo Bills staff and whoever holds the aux cord for them is to just be better. Please be better for John Wawrow’s sake. That’s all I ask.
