So I was born and raised a South Carolina Gamecocks fan, but it would be a bold-faced lie to say a Clemson loss doesn’t bring me more pleasure than a Carolina win. Nothing, and I mean nothing in this whole god damned world satisfies me more then seeing tears in the eyes of some 40-something year old redneck decked out in orange and purple. That previous sentence could apply to Clemson Head Coach Dabo Swinney, or 50 percent of Clemson’s fan base… I’ll leave that up to you. Anyways, let’s forget about the Tiger fan base and get back to the actual football team.
If we are being honest, I don’t have much to shit on Clemson about right now. Three weeks in and they are 3-0 and still ranked in the top five. That’s not to say they didn’t have some close calls in the first two games (c’mon fucking Troy?), but they have managed to not fuck up to the point of losing a game just yet…huge emphasis on the word yet. They might’ve been able to put “powerhouse” South Carolina State in a body bag this past weekend, but deep down I know that as long as the world keeps turning, Clemson will keep on Clemsoning. If you aren’t familiar with the term “Clemsoning”, refer to urban dictionary below.
As I mentioned above, I don’t have too much room to shit on Clemson this season (yet). So, lets look to the past and go over some of my favorite examples of Clemson well….being Clemson.
Fucking Jeff Rigsby: Georgia Tech @ Clemson, 2004
If we are going to talk about the history of Clemson’d moments then we absolutely have to jump back to the Tommy Bowden era. That man was a real piece of work, but I personally don’t think there was anything he could do to prevent this devastating loss against ACC rival Georgia Tech in 2004. Instead, it was the long snapper (yes I said long snapper), Jeff Rigsby, who managed to Clemson the fuck out of this game. On fourth down, with only 22 seconds left in the fourth quarter, Clemson was set to punt and pin GT deep in their own territory. That of course didn’t happen. Instead, long snapper Jeff Rigsby bounced the ball back to the punter leading to a huge turnover on the Clemson ten yard line. The Yellow Jackets quickly capitalized on this fuck up and tossed up a beautiful TD pass to a young Calvin Johnson. A very tough loss to handle indeed, and I’m sure Rigsby wants that one back. But you can’t put to much blame on a guy who plays one of the most emotionally/physically demanding positions in the game of football.
West Virginia Blowout: 2012 Orange Bowl
Ok now let’s jump ahead to the 2012 Orange Bowl where the Tigers got their teeth kicked in by Geno Smith and the West Virginia Mountaineers. One of my favorite parts about this historic Clemson moment were the pregame comments made by Head Coach Dabo Swinney pertaining to his teams defensive prowess. Prior to the game Dabo was quoted as saying “Hopefully when this thing is over, people are going to be talking about the Clemson defense.” ….. Final Score: Clemson 33, WVU 70. People were definitely talking about the Clemson defense after that god damn shoot out, but definitely not in a positive way. In fact, that game managed to tie or break a total of 9 bowl game records, obviously none of them related to the the Defensive side of the game. The most notable of these is Geno Smith tying the individual touchdown total with 6 passing and one rushing touchdown, which allowed WVU to break the total points record with 70. Truly a defensive battle for the ages.
Jameis Winston Murdering No.3 Ranked Clemson: FSU @ Clemson, 2013
Oh yeah, and we absolutely can’t forget about that time fuckin’ Famous Jameis embarrassed the No.3 ranked Tigers in Death Valley. The funniest part about this game was that Clemson fans actually though they had a chance coming into this one. Final score: FSU 51, Clemson 14. Winston managed to go 22 for 34 for 444 yards, with three touchdown passes. Definitely a day to forget for those Clemson fans in attendance at Death Valley that day.
Well, that was a good trip down memory lane (provided you aren’t a Clemson fan). Just remember, as good as things are going for the Tigers right now, Clemson always has that potential to Clemson the fuck out of any given game or situation. Also, word to the wise, DO NOT ask Dabo about “Clemsoning.”
“People need to get some more adjectives” -Dabo Swinney
