The NBA trade deadline is upon us and a week and has been heating up recently, with a blockbuster deal sending Blake Griffin to the Detroit Pistons in return for roughly the entire city of Detroit. Many other names are the subject of Woj Bombs, most notably DeAndre Jordan, Julius Randle and Lou Williams (the Clippers are kind of starting over).

It never happens and never will in college hoops (guys can’t even transfer freely), but what if the college basketball landscape could be mixed up as actively and often as professional sports leagues often do. The assets aren’t available to be dealt like they are in the NBA, but the players are. Why stop at not paying them and not letting them transfer without thinking about their playing future? Might as well exploit them all the way if we’re going to do it at all.

Duke needs some defense

Duke currently sits at 50 in kenpom.com’s adjusted defensive rankings. Outside of Marvin Bagley III, no one even really appears to be above average on that end of the floor. Along with Bagley, only Gary Trent and Grayson Allen register at least one steal per game. More than anything, that basically locks in their ineptitude around the perimeter, especially considering Wendell Carter has proven to be an adequate rim protector even in limited minutes.

A good suitor for the Blue Devils can be found with the Cincinnati Bearcats, who are second in kenpom’s defensive rankings, but also need to accept the fact that they are not a threat to get beyond the Sweet Sixteen. Head Coach Mick Cronin has struggled recruiting big men, with the highest frontcourt player of the last five years only ranking 77 according to ESPN. Sophomore Javin DeLaurier was a top 50 recruit in the 2016 class for Coach K, but has seen extremely limited time during his Duke tenure.

Duke sends the 6-10 231 pound DeLaurier and Coach K’s ageless hair (just to help out Cronin) to Cincinnati in exchange for Bearcat defensive stud Jarron Cumberland.

Xavier is just kind of dumb on defense

Head coach of the Musketeers Chris Mack enjoys implementing zone defense into his gameplan. Sometimes it works. Other times, most notably in the losses to Providence and Villanova, this has proven to be extremely detrimental. Against Providence, his lack of ability to realize the zone simply was not working led to not being able to erase the close deficit they faced throughout the second half. It was especially frustrating when paired with the fact that Xavier is far superior athletically at every spot. Against Nova, Mack kept trying to return to a 1-3-1 defense. Against the Wildcats’ three point efficiency, this is a decision that leads me to question all of Mack’s coaching ability.

Miami’s season has been a bit of a disappointment considering what they had returning from last season and the success they have seen in recent years. But, Jim Larranaga’s defensive prowess is unmatched. Who doesn’t like a good ol’ coaching trade?

Xavier sends Chris Mack and his idiocy (but offensive prowess and recruiting ability) to Miami in exchange for Jim Larranaga and like three or four palm trees so he doesn’t realize he’s in Cincinnati and not Miami.

A little bit for both sides

The Florida Gators have been brutally inconsistent this year despite their undeniable skill on the offensive end. Even though Kevarrius Hayes is an absolute monster for them defensively, I think part of that inconsistency stems from a lack of a true defensive post presence. Oklahoma has a major problem creating offense outside of Trae Young’s otherworldly ability. I think these squads can stand to benefit a little bit from each other in filling the other’s holes (sorry about that phrasing).

Florida sends leading scorer Jalen Hudson to Oklahoma in exchange for Khadeem Lattin and Lon Kruger’s glasses, which can make anyone they want look smarter than they actually are.