Here’s a hard-hitting story for conference championship weekend. I’ve done some digging to explain Michigan’s 8-4 season in which they went out with a whimper. What could be the cause? Could it be the quarterback play? Could it be the overrated whiny coach? Could it even be the fact that they were never that great to begin with? Nope, it all traces back to two weeks ago, when this kid began bawling his eyes out on national TV after a Wisconsin punt return TD.
Here’s the thing: Michigan still was only down 7-0. The kid, who is apparently Jim Harbaugh’s son, didn’t like that his dad’s team gave up points and couldn’t hold back the waterworks. There are a few intriguing things to break down here.
First, his mom (and Mrs. Harbaugh) is right there trying to console him with probably the most intense mom look ever. She knows she didn’t come here for her kid to make a fool out of himself and soil the good Harbaugh name. Plus, she probably also doesn’t approve of crying during the first quarter. I side with her on this point. I mean come on, kid, it’s so early. You may still have your baby teeth, but man up.
Now, onto the kid’s look. This ensemble really isn’t awful for the most part. Hat looks sharp and the big jacket is keeping him nice and warm. Let’s address the elephant in the room, though: those sunglasses. They’re cute, but also a disaster. It’s certainly a bold fashion statement to keep the sunglasses outside of the hat. Maybe he put them on to disguise the fact that he’s crying. Total guy move and we’ve all been there, especially growing up. But if that was the intention, he probably shouldn’t keep sobbing uncontrollably. Nothing hides that.
I think he wore them initially to look cool. I respect the hell out of that. When I was little I would always want my mom to buy me sunglasses because I thought I was the coolest kid on the block. These tiny blue rectangular shades probably have the same effect on him. It’s impossible to wear shades as a kid and not look like this.
Here’s how this kid ruined the end of Michigan’s season. A couple Sabermetrics about everything that happened post-cry: Michigan went 0-2, while being outscored 48-30, switched QBs, and potentially lost their coach. Losing their coach means that Jim Harbaugh goes elsewhere, and the kid directly caused his own dad to be fired. Talk about a momentum shift.
At 8-2, Michigan had a decent shot at going to a New Year’s Six bowl game if they won out. Wins over Wisconsin and Ohio State would bolster the resume. Unfortunately, Harbaugh’s kid had to go and ruin it. Michigan fans should have expected that Harbaugh would bring about the team’s downfall in one form or another. I guess it turned out to be his own offspring that did him in.
This also vindicates John O’Korn, whose dreadful performance against Ohio State seemed to directly lead to the loss. Lucky for him, Harbaugh’s son’s meltdown is the real cause, as most rational Michigan fans have probably come to realize.
Of course, any kid crying at sporting events is only appreciated because it’s no longer socially acceptable for the rest of us sports fans to cry in public. Here are a few other examples of crying kids over the years:
There is, in fact, crying in sports.