Another late week, for which we apologize. I’m in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, for Alabama softball’s appearance in the Black and Gold Tournament at Southern Miss. My travels did, however, result in a pass through Eutaw, Alabama, so I stopped by Joey Freshwater’s trailer for a quick visit. Joey offered me a bowl of what he called Road Stew (“It’ll put some hair on ya”), which I politely declined. I asked Joey about a variety of topics, and we spent a good bit of time discussing Alabama basketball, the Olympics, and more. Then, Joey dropped a bomb. “I’m going on a vacation! To Dublin, Georgia!” he told me. I almost spit out my water, because I’ve never heard of anybody visiting Dublin anyway, let alone for a vacation. When I asked why, he whipped out his very, very old iPhone. “It says on the Google that it’s the best redneck vacation spot in America. Huntin’, fishin’, everything. I can’t (expletive) wait.” I asked him about his trip, and he filled me in on his plans for Dublin. Let’s just say that the folks in that town need to keep an eye out. If you’re in Dublin, Georgia, this week, look for our dear friend Joey Freshwater. And if he’s passed out on the side of the road, just take him to a hospital. When I left Joey’s house Friday, he told me that his responses would be coming in promptly and that he really appreciates his sudden fame. “I’m a celebrity down at the bar,” he explained as I got in my car. I smiled and wished him well, then drove off. Here are those prompt responses, from the ever-wandering mind of Eutaw celebrity Joey Freshwater. If you have a question for next week’s edition, shoot them over to dearjoeyfreshwater@gmail.com. You can also DM them to me @gray_robertson on Twitter. Anonymity guaranteed, as always. Now, let’s see what Joey has to say this week. (Note: Some of these questions were submitted earlier this week, and Joey clearly got to them late. That explains why certain answers had to be adjusted)
Hey Joey, Alabama sure looked good this past week against Tennessee and LSU. With big games against Kentucky and Auburn coming up, what’s the ceiling for this team?
I was pretty disappointed after that Kentucky game, but I have high hopes for Auburn. I’m sure our boys will go to that trailer park of a city and grind to victory. I’m hoping this team can make a tournament run. With the way we play against good teams, I have confidence that we might be able to cause a couple of upsets. I wouldn’t be surprised if we can make it to the Sweet 16, but I’m not sure how much farther we can go after that.
You’re an NBA GM…who do you take with the first pick in the draft? And who would you rather have—Trae Young or Collin Sexton?
I would have to take Trae Young for the first pick overall. That kid is just too good offensively to pass up on. I guess that also answers your second question, but being completely biased I would rather Collin Sexton. That kid is a firecracker on the court, and he drives to the hole harder than any other point guard in the NCAA.
I’ve been dating this girl for about a month, and her parents are coming into town. She wants us all to get together for dinner, and I’m really nervous about it. What tips do you have for interacting with a girlfriend’s parents?
It’s not that hard buddy, you just gotta be yourself. Parents have always loved me because they can tell that I’m a good man. The trick is at dinner you order the most expensive thing on the menu so that they know you are high class. The only other tip I have for you is a little “yes sir” and “no ma’am” go a long way.
What’s up, Joey, I’ve got a beer question for you. Some buddies and I got into a debate about which beer is consistently the best. I don’t mean the fancy stuff, I mean the regular beer that everyone commonly drinks. I’m a Coors guy, but my friends all got behind Budweiser and Michelob Ultra. What are your Top Five favorite beers to drink?
Oh man, you have come to the right person. I am a fan of any kind of common man beer and I hate all of that IPA junk. My favorite five beers in this order are:
- Busch Heavy
- Miller Lite
- PBR
- Budweiser
- Natural light.
That list has been highly debated for years now and is tested on two factors: taste and cost. I’ve had plenty of field tests, so I believe you will find my results accurate.
Kentucky basketball is in freefall. They’ve lost four in a row for the first time under Calipari, and they just look lost out on the court. I’m a Cats fan, and I’ve almost given up on this team. I know you don’t want us to beat your Tide this weekend, but what does Cal have to do to turn this ship around?
The key for Kentucky this year and every other year is recruiting. Every year Calipari brings out five brand new 18 year olds destined for the league. I think Kentucky just had an off year recruiting and will turn it around as soon as they bring in another copy of Anthony Davis, KAT, or Boogie Cousins.
Lebron’s New Look Cavs have looked fresher and quicker on the floor, and they’re starting to win again. Do you now have a shot to beat the Warriors in the NBA finals?
I think any team with Lebron has a chance to win the NBA finals any year but, yes, the Cavs chances are way better than they were before the trade deadline. With all this young energy running around the floor, it’s going to give new life to this team. There is nothing better than seeing Jordan Clarkson’s quick release on the same court with Lebron. What I really can’t wait for is Lebron and Larry Nance to start alley-ooping it to each other. Those freaks of nature look angry at the rim when they dunk.
It’s Winter Olympics time, Joey. What’s your favorite event to watch? I personally prefer the snowboarding, but I know a lot of people love curling.
My favorite event in the winter Olympics is the biathalon. I’ve never been skiing or even seen a mountain before, but that cross country skiing wears me out even from my couch. Those guys even have to go uphill half the time. I have no clue how those guys can stand up to shoot after all that skiing.
I’m headed to the Final Four this year for the first time, and I’m so excited. Definitely a bucket list trip for me, and I’m hoping my Duke Blue Devils will be there too. Is there a sporting event that’s one your bucket list?
One of my bucket list sporting events is definitely the Stanley Cup. I don’t know anything about that crazy Canadian sport, but damn does is sure look fun. Any sport that allows fighting mid-game is one I can appreciate.