We’re back on-time! This week, I’m in Tuscaloosa for the Easton Bama Bash against Florida State, Georgia State, and Northern Iowa. Joey is back too after a “damn refreshing” vacation to Dublin, Georgia. Joey wouldn’t fill me in on his trip details (“You had to be there,” he said), but he did claim that it was one of his best trips ever. Clearly it was, because his answers this week are absolutely fantastic. Here are those responses, from the ever-wandering mind of Eutaw celebrity Joey Freshwater. If you have a question for next week’s edition, shoot them over to dearjoeyfreshwater@gmail.com. You can also DM them to me @gray_robertson on Twitter. Anonymity guaranteed, as always. Now, let’s see what Joey has to say this week.

 

The US Women’s Hockey Team upset Canada in the Gold Medal Match Wednesday to snag its first gold medal in twenty years. I stayed up super late to watch, and it was absolutely riveting. There’s nothing better than a “USA” chant making the rounds in a stadium at the Olympics. Is this the sports story of 2018 so far? Did you stay up to watch?

Personally, I was not awake for the game, but I saw the highlights and what the US women’s hockey team did on Wednesday almost reminded me of the 1980 Miracle on Ice. The game wasn’t exactly the same, but it brings back the old school David vs. Goliath sports story that the Miracle on Ice created, considering Canada has won every gold medal in women’s hockey since 1998. As for biggest sports story of 2018, that could be debated. Remember when Alabama beat Georgia in the National Championship?

 

Tiger Woods is playing in his second straight tournament this weekend, and people are excited. I, however, don’t really care as much as I thought I might because of all the young talent on tour that I like now. Should we care more about Tiger’s comeback? Are you paying attention?

Anyone who is a fan of sports should enjoy watching Tiger come back and play. Tiger returning to golf is like Jordan taking a few years off and coming back to the NBA. Everyone loved to see Jordan come back to the court, but it wasn’t the same until he started balling out. I feel the same way about Tiger. Everyone should be excited about one of the greats coming back to the game, but unless Tiger can start playing for some wins on Sunday, his return should not be a big deal.

 

Sup Joey, love the column. Hypothetical question here—you’re in a room with Lavar Ball for five minutes. What do you say to him? What do you do?

If I’m in a room with Lavar Ball, the first thing I do is ask him how Lithuania is. I heard that country is so backwards that they don’t even have good fishing. I don’t know why you’d ever leave this great country, so he better have a good reason. Also, I want to see if he can actually play ball. I’d let him shoot around for a little bit and I can tell. Maybe I’d take him one-on-one too.

 

I can’t believe I’m asking this question, Joey, but could my Sooners miss the NCAA Tournament? They’ve lost six in a row and have a somewhat difficult closing stretch (Kansas State, at Baylor, Iowa State). Trae Young has been hot garbage from the field the last few weeks. Should I be worried?

Trae Young is throwing up straight bricks and if that doesn’t change then, yes, you should be worried. Oklahoma is reliant on one of the greatest college basketball players of all-time, which is understandable, and without him the team can’t win. However, if Trae Young finds his shot, Oklahoma can make a tournament run.

 

Hey Joey, I know you’re a Bama and SEC guy. If you had to pick one SEC team that you’re most confident about making the Sweet Sixteen, who would it be?

I think Florida has the best chance to make a deep tournament run. Florida has an experienced team of seniors and will have the poise as well as the ability to make it deep. After last year’s run, they were able to keep many of their key players to be ready for a postseason push. Plus, when they’re hot, they’ll shoot the lights out from three.

 

JOEY! What’s up, man? I know you bleed red, white and blue, so I’m curious about what you thought of Fergie’s national anthem at the NBA All-Star Game. I hated it and thought it was awful, but I wasn’t offended by it because I ain’t no snowflake. What did you think?

I don’t know what she tried to do, but she messed up. It’s not a big deal because I don’t think she was purposefully trying to sing bad. I guarantee I couldn’t sing any better than her, so just let her poor performance go. However, you are correct. I love the red, white, and blue and everyday I celebrate that right by drinking tons of Natty Lite.

 

Hey Joey. I was watching Celebrity Big Brother with my wife the other night, and she made the offhand comment that the show would be super entertaining if football coaches were in it. If you don’t know the show, a bunch of people are locked in a house for an extended period of time with no connection to the outside and are forced to play games and take challenges. People are slowly eliminated until there’s one winner at the end. There’s a lot of strategic gameplay in the show, which is fascinating to watch and makes my wife’s comment even more interesting. If you had to pick a group of coaches to participate in Big Brother: College Football Edition, who would be your choices?

Locking college football coaches in the same house for an extended period of time sounds like a death trap, but I think I have a group of coaches who would make for some great entertainment. My first choice is Nick Saban for obvious reasons. My next choice has to be Lane Kiffin, who will act as a foil for Nick Saban and would be a great villain on the show. Beyond that, I have to throw in the great hair of Mike Gundy, Jim “Killer Khakis” Harbaugh, the crazy cajun Ed Orgeron, the wild card Les Miles, the nerd in the sweater vest Gus Malzahn, the great former Razorback gambler Bret Bielema, and Jim McElwain because of his shark fetish just to even everything out. These coaches are all either absolutely insane or huge alpha males, but at the end of the day they’re all just big football guys and would make for great entertainment.

 

If you want to ask Joey something in next week’s column, shoot us an email at dearjoeyfreshwater@gmail.com. You can also tweet me or DM me your questions, just send them to @gray_robertson. Anonymity is always guaranteed. Have a great Sunday and a great week!