Allow me to introduce you to the most exciting college basketball team in recorded existence: the Greenville Panthers.

Do you see those scores? They are scoring just under 100 points per game and are losing games by an average of 62 points. How is that even possible?

Well, they are shooting an average of 45 three-pointers per game and just randomly decide when to play defense, which is a touching tribute to kids these days (hey-oh!).

I know what you are thinking, and the answer is no, there are no sportsbooks that offer lines on this team (that I am aware of.)

It’s kind of bullshit that you can’t gamble on a D-III college basketball team if you ask me. If I was able to gamble on simulated Madden games on twitch at three in the morning during the early days of the pandemic, I should be able to gamble on Greenville.

Can you imagine looking at a college basketball point total over 250? If you see a point total that outrageous, you take it, no matter what, I don’t care what the percentages say. Do you want to be the jackass at the water cooler the next morning that didn’t partake in this monumental moment?

Actually, this gives me an idea, a sportsbook that only allows bets on D-III college sports. There are a lot of degenerates out there that will refresh the ESPN app until their finger wears down to the bone checking the scores.

I’m sure there are no legal ramifications to that. I’m not a lawyer, I can plead ignorance. Did I just figure out how to get out of any crime? Anyway, Greenville rocks and you should tune in to any stream you can find for them, you won’t regret it.