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I AM HERE FOR THE JOHNNY MANZIEL COMEBACK TOUR

ICYMI: Johnny Manziel tweeted out a hype video of himself today, to show that #Comeback$ZN is in full swing.

The video consists of nothing more than Johnny stretching to Drake’s “God’s Plan” for just over a minute, but that’s all it takes for a viewer to become fully torqued. Johnny was the most electric athlete I’ve ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately, the same cocaine that motivated him to succeed in sports turned out to be his kryptonite and deprived the public of his talents for a brief stint. Well it appears that the hiatus is almost over, and I’m here to break down the video.

We start with some simple band exercises to loosen up the quads and hammies. If you were worried about a hamstring injury setting the comeback tour back, think again. 

That’s impressive knee to chest action which shows me he’s at minimal risk for a non-contact injury… After playing around with a stick above his head briefly, Johnny moves into this exercise.

I’m not really sure what muscle this one is supposed to stretch, but I always found myself doing it when I was trying to keep myself warmed up. Just a nice little burn in the groin/back of the leg area to stay ready to pounce at all times. This is a key one to mix in during a comeback tour, and you gotta love to see Johnny get so deep with it (that’s what she said)… Moving on to high knees.

Another impressive display of getting the knee to chest. My knee hasn’t been that high off the ground since high school. But what’s even more impressive is his balance on the way down. Good to see Johnny has finally found his equilibrium without coke in the system… At this point you’re thinking “Okay we’ve never questioned his legs, but we saw that dad bod in the beach pic. How are his abs?”

Well I’m here to report that there’s no way a man with a dad bod could launch a medicine ball above his head this high.

Nor could anyone with a dad bod do this thing where you slide a disk looking object with one hand while lifting your opposite leg up

And here’s a little tease to give you the meat sweats while you’re imagining what’s under that sweatshirt.

Luckily for you, I did some private investigation and found a recent pic of him with his shirt off.

Dad bod gone, abs back, Johnny’s back. Buckle up folks, it’s #Comeback$ZN

 

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