Kevin Warren, the Big Ten’s commissioner, has taken the college football season from fans. He has straight up robbed me of my favorite times of the year. It’s not just the football games that I’m going to miss. Being an Iowa fan, it’s about the experience of tailgating, mingling with other fans and rolling into Kinnick Stadium with a nice buzz. I didn’t think I would be able to cheer for another team. That was until I remembered the military academies in the U.S.A.

My recruitment is now open

Army, Navy and Air Force – I’m going to be cheering for tomorrow’s heroes this year. Now the question is, who. I’m going to judge based off of a few different criteria. First will be their names. Second is the amount of points they allowed in a game last season. The final and maybe most important factor will be the amount of times they run the ball a game.

Style of football I like

Passing and scoring points is flashy, but that is not what I’m looking for. I’ve always been a ‘between the trenches’ guy. I am looking for 9-6 finals and 50+ rushing attempt football games. Give me all the bruises and grit you can find. With that being said, let’s break this down.

Names of academies

These three academies have three of the best team names in the sport. We will start with my least favorite – the Black Knights. All around solid name, my only knock on it is that the only thing separating it from other schools is the adjective in front of Knights. There are the Rutgers Scarlet Knights and Vegas Golden Knights (I know this is NHL). I’d give it an 8/10, but not my cup of tea.

My second favorite is the Navy Midshipmen. This is just some strong terminology. The name screams “we are badasses who can do some damage.” And while it is unique, I feel a lot of people would struggle to remember the name.

My top choice is the Air Force Falcons. The big separator for me is the alliteration in the name. The double ‘F’ sound is fantastic. I know Falcons is common, but the word Force and Falcon back-to-back is STRONG.

Points allowed

This is a huge surprise right here. You always hear about Army and Navy when it comes to these academies, but Air Force is a way better defensive team than I had imagined. Granted, their schedule traditionally isn’t as great as the other two, but they still have quality schools on their schedule. This is a huge bump for the Falcons. Their numbers in 2019 – 258 points allowed/19.8 per game.

Navy and Army are almost identical here as they sit less than one point apart. Their competition is more difficult, so I’ll give them that. However, they get into way more shootouts which is kind of a wild thought. Navy – 290/22.3 and Army 299/23.

Rushing attempts

Navy averaged 59.5 rushing attempts per game in 2019. Now that is what I’m talking about. Control the game with pace – eat that som-bitchin’ clock as much as possible. That is what I am looking for in my team.

Next up is Air Force with 58.1 attempts. Another sky high number. I love to see the possible plays that can come out of a rushing offense. Coaches have to be creative and manipulate their knowledge.

Rounding out the pack is Army at 57.2. Again, no slouch here, but not good enough. It doesn’t take a math genius to figure out this is the lowest number.

The Decision

After much consideration, and all of an hour of writing this, the clear choice is to go with the Air Force Falcons. However, they are part of the Mountain West and their season has been cancelled as well. With that being said, I will be riding with the Navy Midshipmen. Let’s eat!

*All statistics were pulled from Sports Reference and ESPN*

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