After writing the first part of this so-called “guide”, everything is still confusing. Add on to the fact that filling out a bracket can be both nerve-racking and disastrous. “Who the hell is Lipscomb? And what the hell is a Bucknell?” Well, This will be you’re helping hand to help us with the Madness that is March.
South:
The South, aka the best area in the US to live (Come @ me). It’s a little bit of a walk in the park for these higher seeds and little to no competition to the bottom seeds, so it’s essentially the Big 12. You don’t really know what to expect, but you know what is going to happen.
Virginia vs UMBC
Virginia is the big underdog story of this year. They started off the season not ranked in the AP Poll and were picked to finish 6th in the ACC. Well, they finished the regular season as the Number 1 overall team and are considered the best defense in the game right now. Lead by a young core, they are one of the teams that are being predicted to win it all. Well, this is almost identical to the UGA team we saw this year with a Freshman (Fromm) took the helm for the Bulldogs and led them to the Playoff. Meanwhile out in Maryland, a UMBC team is probably trembling in fear having to face them. They almost resemble a ASU team when they had a Hail Mary to beat ranked USC at the time. (UMBC sank a Game Winning shot to clinch an Auto-Bid).
Creighton vs Kansas State
This game is a total toss-up. Both shaky teams who have wins over top 50 teams, but also losses against very questionable teams as well. I’ll give Creighton an Iowa comparison and K-State an Iowa State because I feel like these teams will both go out with chips on their shoulders and want to prove they can make serious waves.
Kentucky vs Davidson
This is the game that will probably be an upset. Kentucky has not found their footing all season and have a very poor offensive efficiency. They stick true to the name and are the Kentucky Football team. On the other hand, this Davidson team is an offensive powerhouse, going into 3OT against St. Bonnie’s. They are the Texas Tech without all the bullcrap about Air Raid and System QB’s (Lookin at your Pat Mahomes).
Arizona vs Buffalo
Ah, the good ol’ bag droppers out in Tucson play the Buffalo Bulls. Arizona has been a very hot name this year due to some illegal things being thrown out into the sports world. Zona is Ohio State when Jim Tressel was under fire for the money his players were making and all that drama. Hell of a team led by potential #1 pick in Ayton, but a lot of drama taking away from that. Buffalo has been a very quietly good team his year, but has no big wins or flashy stats. They are *Insert any moderately decent Group of 5 team other than UCF*.
Tennessee vs Wright St.
Rocky Top. The Volunteers had a very successful season, only behind Auburn in regular season play and losing to Kentucky in the SEC Tournament championship. With a solid season both offensively and defensively, they earned the TCU comparison due to the in conference losses that knocked them out of contention. On the other hand, this Wright St. team is not a flashy team at all. No big wins, no huge players or any eye-popping stats, they get the good ol’ Nebraska comparison. Once was probably great, but now they just wish it was the 90’s.
Nevada vs Texas
The Wolfpack takes on the Longhorns. Nevada had a great season…. until the very end when they decided to drop a game to SDSU in the regular season and then get smacked around in the MW tourney. Almost like a Louisville, they have great potential, but can’t find the right formula. And UT, well UT is UT so they get a UT comparison. They suck. (On a lighter note, if you haven’t read about it, one of UT’s players, Andrew Jones, has cancer and is currently fighting it. As an A&M fan, I’m hoping for the best for this kid and his bright future.)
Cincinnati vs Georgia St.
Well it’s nice to see a team from Georgia be able to win some type of championship. Georgia St. feels like a team who is in the tournament year in and out, and with the average success, they’re almost like a USC team (the awkward phases with Cody Kessler…Yeah, that one Browns QB). And this Cincinnati team was on fire for about 65-70% of the season before hitting some tough losses down the stretch. Three losses to top 32 teams and a poor defensive efficiency, they are the embodiment of Penn State for the past 2 years.
East:
“Welcome to the F***ing Show” – Will Ferrell in The Campaign
While the East is more loaded than a baked potato from Wendy’s, it’s almost like the Big Ten. You got some great potential, but in reality, it just looks pretty on paper and is an actual shit show. A random team at the bottom (Iowa, Nebraska, ISU) will cause chaos by beating bigger name teams (OSU, PSU, Michigan). It’s all the fun of the Big Ten without all the annoying fans!
Villanova vs Radford
Nova is USC in the early 00’s. Radford is *Insert any FCS School here*. Nova by 30.
Alabama vs Virginia Tech
Here. We. Go. An electric Bama team lead by Sexton (My now most hated player in the universe of college basketball. Texas A&M Christian Laettner) and a Virginia Tech team who had a very solid season and top 25 in both PPG and Defense. This game has an almost UCF-USF feel with these two teams fighting for their lives in a shootout.
WVU vs Murray St.
This WVU team has been a mess since Week 4, it seems like. Once getting whispers as favorites to win it all, they began losing at home and had to hear Take Me Home Country Road sang in a depressed manner. WVU is a lot like Washington, start off hot but then somehow end up holding on for dear life. Murray St. is defensive team and it will be fun to see them attempt to hold this Mountaineer team down. Murray St. is Washington State trying to ruin some of those miserable Rainy days up in Washington.
Florida vs St. Bonaventure
Florida is the crappy Florida team we get year in and out, especially with the ugly gator uniforms. Bonnie’s are LSU due to the skinning of Gators year in and out.
TTU vs SFA
The Battle of the Alamo* is finally here. Stone Cold Stephen F. Austin versus the TTU Red Raiders. Baylor vs TCU football. Oklahoma vs Texas. ANY RIVALRY. It will be cutthroat basketball and I’m all in. A shootout to prove who is the 3rd best Texas team (Behind A&M and Baylor…Suck it UT).
*Any battle of Texas teams I give this name.
Arkansas vs Butler
Ah, the good ol’ south against the east coast bulldogs. The 297th SEC team is gonna have a close game with this team, and it’ll be interesting to watch. Arkansas embodies the Razorbacks w/ Bret while Butler, who’s looking to play upset (10 over a 7 seed isn’t an upset IMO) are the UCF Knights. Ruin all of the brackets.
Purdue vs CSU Fullerton
Fullerton is some crappy baseball school in SoCal (they wait listed me so I have a minor grudge) while Purdue is a usual powerhouse for the Big Ten. Purdue is Miss. State while Fullerton is Ole Miss after the whole Hugh Freeze mess.
So, there you have it. All 68 teams put into a simpler way for us football guys to understand it. 32 games, 64 teams, 68 teams given some Pig Skin Doppelganger. So happy Shooty Hoops season and only 160 days till Kickoff.
