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Miami Signs Australian Punter Who is Definitely 45 Years Old

National Signing Day is arriving today, which means we’re about to see a lot of high school kids make the biggest decision of their lives. Some will have super dope videos and have some kind of cool moment during their announcement. Others will crash and burn and mispronounce their new University or accidentally put on the wrong hat and have to backtrack. The other type of announcement you’ll get is from the guy that could not possibly be in high school. Luckily, Louis Hedley has started that trend a night early.

This Australian punter committed to the U tonight and is AT LEAST 34 years old. I would set the over/under at 2.5 kids. Other betting totals I would set are o/u 1.5 prison sentences, 4.5 kangaroos’ asses kicked, and 39.5 tattoos. This guy has seen more in his 34 years than most of his future Miami teammates have ever seen in their lives. I can’t wait to see him bomb a punt and then throw a Baker crotch grab at the opposing sideline. I would not recommend taking your bathroom break pre-punt when this guy is on the field. You can wait for the commercial break.

Best of luck to this guy and RIP to the Miami defense because this guy is definitely going to take the turnover chain and make it his own. And I don’t care how bad some of the guys on that D are because I know they don’t want the smoke from Louis.

Aussie Aussie Aussie!

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