It’s that time once again in America. College football teams across the country are putting in the man-hours at practice and vigorously preparing for their season-opener, which for most teams is in just a couple short weeks, unless you’re Florida State. However, along with the Oklahoma drills and live scrimmages sometimes come back-door deals and mischief by the players, coaches, or university higher-ups that we usually don’t hear about until after the season. Last year was full of exciting highlights, along with some clues towards illicit activities that might go unnoticed to the untrained eye. So, I’m here to bring you the truth on some possible misdeeds that go far beyond the typical recruiting violations. Anyways, here are some of the favorites to be the next college football program to receive NCAA sanctions. (Quick sidenote- this isn’t 100% serious, as should be easily deduced in the following paragraphs.)

UCF NCAA Sanctions Odds — 20/1

UCF’s recent success has been one of the most intriguing storylines of the past two years in college football. The amount of trash talk from their fans, coupled with the program declaring themselves national champs created fantastic entertainment. If you’re one of the people that actually roots against UCF because they’re not the “true” national champions you’ve got a huge dump in your pants. Anyways, these guys won 25 straight games before losing to LSU in the Fiesta Bowl. That just doesn’t happen in today’s college football world without some sort of misconduct, as we all learned with USC back in the mid-2000’s. Scott Frost might’ve pulled the ultimate Pete Carrol move by hightailing it out of UCF before the sanctions came down.  The loss to LSU in the Fiesta Bowl might just have been an elaborate ruse to throw us off their trail.

Pittsburgh NCAA Sanctions Odds — 16/1

If I were to ask a casual college football fan what Pitt’s record was last year, they’d probably guess 7-5. They would be correct. However, a 7-win Pitt team somehow made it into the ACC Championship game, and the entire nation didn’t even bat an eye. A team that ended up finishing the year with seven losses lined up in Charlotte for the right to hoist the ACC Championship trophy. There’s no chance this could have happened without some sort of backdoor deal between Pitt and the ACC.

Clemson NCAA Sanctions Odds — 12/1

The way Clemson absolutely embarrassed Alabama in the National Championship last year was unbelievably impressive… Almost too impressive. A Nick Saban coached team doesn’t just get their lunch money taken from them in a big game like that. Dabo or some Clemson staffer had to have stolen the ‘Bama playbook in the days leading up to the game. Maybe they could’ve somehow got the feed from the Alabama coaching box piped into their headphones.  In any case, don’t be surprised if Clemson has to vacate their National Championship from last year. (If that were to happen, I’m sure we’re all in agreement that the championship would be awarded to Notre Dame by default because they lost to Clemson in the playoff by less than Alabama did.)

Kansas NCAA Sanctions Odds– 6/1

The Kansas Jayhawks football program proudly boasts a record of 6-42 in their last four seasons. They’ve been the laughingstock of the NCAA for a decade, and had no end to their misery in sight. But this past offseason they somehow land Les Miles as their new head coach? This guy was winning national championships at LSU while Kansas was getting trounced by Little Sisters of the Poor.  Suddenly he wants to coach there? I’m calling BS on that. The AD or somebody has to have some sort of blackmail on Les Miles to make a 65-year-old guy that was out of coaching for two years move his family to Lawrence and try to create some semblance of a football program there. He could’ve been the new Lee Corso on College Gameday. Instead, Les Miles will have to try to pull Kansas’s program out of the gutter. Coach Miles if you’re reading this: call a flea flicker on the first play of the year if you’re being held against your will. Help will be on the way.

The entire Pac-12 — 4/1

This one is pretty much a slam dunk. It’s blatantly obvious. The Pac-12 was so horrible last year that they actually gave credence to the fans of AAC teams claiming to be in a “Power 6” conference.  I don’t know what the Pac-12 coaches, players, etc. were focusing on last season, but it definitely wasn’t the on-field product. There’s no chance that the best effort by every Pac-12 team last season resulted in a conference championship between two 9-3 teams in front of roughly a couple hundred people that ended with a score of ten to three. There’s just no way. Their thoughts had to be elsewhere, on some sort of inter-conference nefarious plans for the upcoming seasons. Be on the lookout for the repercussions of the Pac-12 collusion from last year.