Ladies, this article is more aimed towards you due to that men have exactly 0% say over wedding choices. Also, please take the words said in this article by heart because your significant other is hurting, but won’t say anything about being forced to these because they love you that much.
So, if you haven’t heard or seen the news on twitter, our very own Cody Goggin is no longer a Restricted Free Agent:
Got some news y’all! This time next year I’ll be married to my best friend in the whole world pic.twitter.com/bqKJeYLlXd
— Cody Goggin (@CodyGoggin) July 11, 2018
Now, I love Cody as much as I love watching Pat Mahomes over-throw a 5 yard out, but this reminded me about one thing that makes ever Male College Football Fan Cringe:
A God Damn Fall Wedding
These have caused more emotional pain to men on a Saturday or Sunday than The Notebook has effected females. Weddings are by far one of the most fun things to ever go to or even participate in. Old friends and family getting back together, day time drinking, and the best of all, brunch the next morning with a killer headache and downing mimosas like no tomorrow.
But, this can all be ruined if you are being dragged out of your safe haven of a living room on a beautiful Saturday morning/afternoon from August till December due to those damned weddings. Love is a beautiful thing, but seeing a Spread offense connect on a 80+ yard touchdown is easily 6x better.
It’s the most wonderful season of the year… but not for some. #StopFallWeddings pic.twitter.com/mIyBZSxaSs
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) August 28, 2017
So please ladies, if we can handle watching The Bachelor and having to be dragged to go shopping at a Home Goods for 3+ hours, don’t RSVP to a fall wedding. Instead, join your man on the couch in some gym shorts and a old team T-Shirt/Jersey and enjoy all the day-drinking you want to without the hassle of acting like you actually care about your old cheer friend or the long lost cousin who can’t get words out fast enough.