Seth Berland

 

Beer and basketball goes together like John Wooden and championships and Duke and hatred. There are drinking games for every sport, but with the sheer amount of games and crazy phrases said every year, March Madness may be the best to have a game to participate in. Well, I am here to provide that game for you. We have three categories: Sip (self-explanatory), Gulp (as much as you can in one gulp), and Chug (you better not stop till you see the bottom of that bottle/can). There is also one required pour out for a fallen (not literally) member of our March Madness memories.

 

Without further adieu, drink away!

 

  • Pour one out for Gus Johnson

Before we start drinking, let us remember one of the legends of March. I miss Gus Johnson’s March Madness calls more and more every year he isn’t involved (please come back). He always brings the upmost excitement for even the smallest things, and when there’s a big shot, he goes nuts. Here’s a quick video to watch while your pouring one out for him

 

 

 

  • Sip if:

 

A mascot is shown on camera

We all love our mascots (for the most part), but we are watching on TV for the game. I don’t need to see the mascot’s reaction after every basket. Here’s a hint: he’ll probably be happy if his team scored.

 

A coach is on camera yelling at the ref (add a gulp if you see a cuss word mouthed)

This one is going to be tough for fans of specific teams. Bearcat fans, Cronin is going to make sure you drink A LOT for this one. Good luck.

 

 

A player makes a three pointer (gulp if it is banked in)

It may be boring, but we need to make sure you’re drinking enough to be having fun. Biggest team to watch out for on this one: Marquette. The team leads the country in three point percentage at 43%.

 

There’s a lead change or the lead goes to 20.

It’s March Madness. There are close games and there are blowouts. Sipping after a lead change gets you buckled in for a close game and lots of pressure. Drinking when the lead goes to 20 makes you forget the awful game you are witnessing.

 

There’s an And-1

If you can’t tell, a lot of these sipping ones are just to make sure you are drinking a lot. Because what is the point of drinking during a game if you are going to remember it the next day?? (Serious note, please drink somewhat responsibly)

 

  • Gulp if:

 

Charles Barkley yells “Thats Turrible” and continue to sip until you work “Turrible” into a sentence

Barkley’s signature phrase. You never want to be the player who does something so bad that he says this. But when he does, its a thing of beauty. Also, good luck with fitting turrible into a sentence (and you can’t try to force it).

 

 

The game goes into overtime

As said above, you need to get prepared for the stress of a close game. Plus, celebrations are so much better (and funnier) if you’ve been drinking.

 

Someone airballs

Since air-balling in the Big Dance is embarrassing enough for the player, we feel like the fan needs to experience the pain also. Gulp up.

 

Someone flops

This is a judgement call. Most of the time, you can tell if someone flopped. And while nobody likes a flopper, at least you get to take another gulp when one happens. Let’s hope this one doesn’t happen too often.

 

There is an interview with a player’s relative (extra gulp if everything said in the interview is pointless)

This happens every year. One of the court side reporters has some story that involves a player’s family and they go to interview them on the stands. Half of the time, these interviews are completely pointless and they don’t ask anything of substance. This is a judgement call, but if the interview is awkward enough to make you want to drink, do it.

 

There is a flagrant/technical foul

Extra gulps if the flagrant/technical results in an ejected player. Always fun to see the reactions of the players/coaches/everyone when someone gets called for one of these. Also fun to see how guys end up getting the flagrants (though it is never fun when someone gets injured because of it)

 

 

  • Chug if:

 

The game results in an upset

Upsets are the lifeblood of March Madness so of course it needs to be included in the drinking game. Think of this chug as a celebration for everything that is March.

 

Dicky V yells “Unbelievable!” or “Diaper Dandy!”

Ah, you have to love Dicky V. One of the classic college basketball commentators with the catchiest of phrases (catchy is one word for it). There are plenty of “diaper dandies” in this tournament so we may be hearing this phrase quite often from him.

 

 

Someone makes a buzzer beater

Goes hand-in-hand with upsets as the lifeblood of March Madness. Everyone loves a good buzzer beater, that is, unless it is against your team.

 

Hope you enjoy your drinks, and good luck! The game’s start early so you have a long day of drinking ahead of you. May the March Madness gods be on your side.