Today is Valentines Day and this can mean one of two things. You’re either preparing to go out for a nice dinner with your significant other or you’ll be sitting on your couch downing Häagen-Dazs watching something sad to make yourself feel even sadder. I sit in category number three. I’m here writing about Valentines Day and giving you a guide on what to watch whether you’re in scenario one or two.
For The Couples
To all my couples out there, maybe you want to hit the movie theater after a nice dinner. As someone who frequents the movie theater far too much and knows that movie crop out right now isn’t great, I recommend you stay home and fire up a streaming service. If you really are feeling ambitious, more power to you for going to see 80 For Brady, but for those who will take my advice, here are some solid flicks to watch with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
When it comes to romantic comedies, I’m not the biggest fan, but I can appreciate a good one. 10 Things I Hate About You is fun, cute, and packs in great performances with an entertaining plot. My only qualm for the fellas out there is that Heath Ledger serenading Julia Stiles might have your girlfriend saying “Why don’t you do something like that for me?” If you want to enjoy a tight film with great romantic elements, watch 10 Things I Hate About You. If you don’t want your girlfriend fawning over Heath Ledger singing Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, I’d steer clear of it.
Crazy Stupid Love (2011)
If you’re really looking for hysterics, Crazy Stupid Love is the route to take. You get an all star cast of Carell, Gosling, Moore, Stone, Bacon, and Tomei all entangled at some point in love triangles. There’s less of the love stuff and more gut busting laughs which is why I like it so much. It flew under the radar in the 2010s and think it’d make for a great Valentines Day watch.
La La Land (2016)
Perhaps confident and romantic Ryan Gosling isn’t your thing. If that’s the case, I raise you La La Land. In this Damien Chazelle banger, you’ll once again see Gosling and Emma Stone together, but in a more artistic light. This is a romantic film masqueraded as a musical with vibrant colors. The key difference between Crazy Stupid Love and La La Land is their polar opposite endings. Personally, I prefer the La La Land ending because it leaves you wanting more in a deeper manner. Like I mentioned, if you’re a bit artsier and love music and great acting, go with La La Land.
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
It’s 2023. Here at Student Union Sports we don’t discriminate and I like having the most possible people reading my work so I’m including an option for the LGBTQ+ crowd. I think that Brokeback Mountain is a very ambitious film and was at the time it was released. It’s a really great movie about two people who can’t be together and ultimately never will be, but it’s still two great performances from Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. It’s a sad romantic film and when you watch the final shot, you will cry.
Gone Girl (2014)
If you’re a girlfriend reading this and you’re looking for a way out of your relationship, you could propose to watch Gone Girl as an entertaining thriller, but could be simultaneously taking mental notes. Amy Dunne is a badass villain and a true mastermind. This is neither a romantic or comedic film, but one that’s about a failing relationship. Look, I’m not saying that you frame your significant other for murder, you drain the bank accounts, and take off to a rural part of Missouri, but if that’s what you want to do then Gone Girl will deliver solid tips and tricks.
For The Lonely Folk
Hello to the lonely folks. You probably puked in your mouth reading about potential happy couples watching romantic comedies, but I didn’t forget about us, I mean you guys. This section is dedicated to weeping uncontrollably and most likely hiding it.
Manchester by the Sea (2016)
Hypothetically speaking, you want to ugly cry in the darkness of your room with the only light on you coming from your TV, then Manchester by the Sea is the depressing film for you. Again, hypothetically speaking. Manchester by the Sea is one distressing gut punch after the other. At every turn, you feel gutted. That’s mainly due to the plot, but the amazing Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, and Lucas Hedges performances add to it. I don’t want to give too much away, but if you queue this up, grab the tissues.
Marriage Story (2019)
For all the people who just got out of a relationship and want to see another one fall apart in the messiest way possible, I’d like to introduce you to Marriage Story. The film starts like it should be a romantic drama that’s pretty happy. After the first seven minutes, prepare to go through an intense downhill spiral with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. Damn you Noah Baumbach for making a great yet sad film.
Magnolia (1999)
Loneliness. Loneliness is the message of Magnolia. While you will be caught off guard by Tom Cruise yelling “RESPECT THE C*CK AND TAME THE C*NT” and frogs coming from the sky, you will understand that Paul Thomas Anderson made a film about lonely social misfits. That message is delivered in the opening scenes when One by Filter plays over a montage of our main characters. It’s a three-hour film that I love, but you will feel like shit after watching this. I’m just warning you.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
While Wes Anderson’s flicks are usually whimsical and fun, The Royal Tenenbaums bucks the trend. If Valentines Day really has you beaten down, I recommend that you skip to the back half of the film and just watch the Luke Wilson shaving scene on repeat while you mutter Needle In The Hay by Elliot Smith. It’ll probably break you, but if you’ve gotten to this point, you’re looking for a film that’ll make you feel like shit.
