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The Decision: Udonis Haslem Edition

Mar 18, 2022; Miami, Florida, USA; Miami Heat forward Udonis Haslem (40) smiles after making a shot against the Oklahoma City Thunder during the second half at FTX Arena. Mandatory Credit: Jim Rassol-USA TODAY Sports

Now this right here is HUGE news. Role player, and I use that term loosely, Udonis Haslem is following in the foot steps of his former Heat teammate LeBron James and will be making his free agent “decision” on Sunday afternoon. Anthony Chiang was the first to break this Earth shattering news.

Does Anyone Even Want Haslem?

I just don’t understand this one bit. Haslem has played in 58 games since 2016 and has averaged 6.8 minutes per game the last six seasons. On top of that, when he does get on the court, he’s averaged 2.4 PPG and 2.0 RPG the past six seasons. Traditionally I’d call a player like this washed, but Haslem is way past washed. I’d go as far as saying he’s in the dryer.

Over his nineteen year career, Haslem has tallied just north of 68 million dollars in career earnings. My recommendation to him is to hang up the sneakers and check into the Victoria Nursing & Rehabilitation Center in Miami. The facility has a 4.5 star review on Google and I’m sure Haslem can afford it. In all seriousness though, Haslem should retire and look to get a gig coaching. The veteran minimum in the NBA is 1.8 million a year when he could make close to 3 million as a first-year head coach. He’s been in a player/coach role the past six seasons in Miami, a lot like Jackie Moon in Semi-Pro. I don’t foresee Haslem ever leaving the Heat so he’s either going to announce that he’s resigning with the Heat or retiring on Sunday.

Twitter Destroyed The 42 Year Old Big Man

NBA Twitter can be a volatile place, and Haslem really caught the wrath when this was first reported. It was pretty harsh.

https://twitter.com/BolWrld/status/1560315278189273089?s=20&t=FNIZvoZ9GsFedIpTqGYHAA
https://twitter.com/MasterSage_/status/1560313641588895744?s=20&t=FNIZvoZ9GsFedIpTqGYHAA

Those were some of the kinder memes and tweets sent in Haslem’s direction. While Halsem was a serviceable big man in the mid 2000’s and has been a good locker room guy for the Heat the past few seasons, making a big show out of where he’s going to possibly play next year is just foolish and laughable. Even Heat fans have to think that his antics are a bit outrageous. Just an overall weird headline that Haslem probably thought people would be into.

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