So this is going to be a weekly segment dedicated to all of the random, interesting and funny ass shit that happens every day in the upside down world of College Sports. I’ll try my best to provide y’all with the most interesting/outrageous college sports moments from around the nation, as well as provide some of my own personal insight. But in all honesty, this blog segment is titled “The Flexbone” for a reason; Because much like the plays ran in the flexbone formation, you never know where the fuck this blog is going to go. So with that in mind, lets get into it.
So today, the main topic of “The Flexbone” is dedicated to my fellow college students who were unfortunate enough to attend a school without a football team… or even attend a school with an irrelevant football team (shout out to my friends at Wofford and Furman.) I myself attend the College of Charleston (no I don’t own a banana board) and must say it’s a bit frustrating to not have a team to officially root for every Saturday. But hey I can’t complain, as long as college football exists, I will find a way to enjoy it. So here are a couple ways to enjoy college football when you don’t have a real team to support.
Option A: Become a Bandwagon Fan
So this is the obvious solution, as well as the most obnoxious. Bandwagon fans are the fucking worst… but hey if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. I for one already have a Lamar Jackson jersey in the mail. Hopefully it’s here before next Saturday. Judge me all you want but I support winners, bottom fucking line.
Option B: Get Fucking Shithoused
Whether you want to admit it or not, everyone’s favorite part of college football Saturday is getting blackout drunk. I personally spend most of my Saturday’s in sports bars, but I always love traveling to other schools to catch a good game. It’s always a fun (reckless) time to take a day trip to another school and get fucked up in the college lots before games. Being born and raised in South Carolina, I’ll typically catch a couple South Carolina games and maybe even a Clemson game every year. But fair warning, big team schools take their football (drinking) very seriously. To be honest, if kick-off isn’t before at least 3:30, there is a strong possibility I won’t remember a single play of the game. But whether you remember the game or not, alcohol is a great way the enhance a day of football.
Option C: Gamble
I highly recommend not mixing “Option C” with “Option B” unless you’ve got a lot of extra cash on deck, but either way gambling certainly does make any game more interesting. Those fucking wizards setting spreads over in Vegas know exactly how to keep people interested in boring/blow out games. For instance, the fucking Tulane-Navy game had me on the edge of my seat for all 60 minutes…and all because I had money on it. Is that healthy? I don’t know, probably not. Is is fun? You are goddamn right it is! Anyways, if this is your type of thing you should definitely check out the weekly college picks blogs on Student Union Sports written by Austin Montgomery and Austin Brown.
Other Notable Shit To Mention From the Weekend
North Dakota State beating #13 Iowa – So North Dakota State shocked the college football world today. I mean, they are an FCS team, and it’s not like they were playing fucking Wofford (I’m really shitting on the Terriers today), they were playing a nationally ranked Iowa. But good for NDSU. I think this is the first time North Dakota has been relevant since the second season of Fargo ended.
Clemson Beating SC State So Bad That They Had to Shorten the Game – Typical Clemson shit. Beating up on the little guys over at South Carolina State. Believe it or not, I had serious considerations about going to SC State before choosing Charleston. Seems like I’d fit in just fine. But basically, Clemson was up so much at half that both coaches agreed to shortened the third and fourth quarters. Final score Clemson 59, SC State 0. If it counts for anything, SC State’s marching band is unreal.
