Gray Robertson

Welcome to the preseason edition for the sophomore season of The Hangover, where I recap the previous weekend in college football or, in this case, get you ready for the upcoming season. This week, The Hangover comes to you from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where I have been prepping for my SEC Network Plus debut on Friday. Alabama women’s soccer takes on Florida Gulf Coast at 7 p.m. CT, so check it out (shameless plug, but hey, I’m going to be on TV; I’m pretty pumped). This week, we hit on some of the big topics in the sport, plus I share my preseason picks for each Power Five conmference as well as my playoff predictions. Oh, and Random Rankings is back. Let’s dive in!

Today should be a great day. When I woke up this morning, I had an alert go off that I’ve had set for months. “One week until college football starts!” my phone told me. I’m excited we’ll finally get some action going a week from today (sorry, Week 0, but I need my Thursday night kick-off to really signify the start of the season), but at this moment that excitement feels misplaced. For a sport that I love, filled with so many great people and some of my best friends that work in various capacities within the game, this off-season has been sobering. The last few months have once again reminded us, the college football fan, that this sport is far from perfect and that, at many places, the priorities are wayward for those in power. What’s worse is that I think everybody who follows college football–fans and media members alike–recognize just how broken the sport is right now. Not the on-field product, certainly, and I don’t think the College Football Playoff is either. What’s broken is the human element. The people in college sports have gotten so focused on winning at all costs that they’ll overlook just about anything. Not everybody, but enough people to ruin it for the whole crowd. The worst part? The names of those guilty parties are easy to remember, especially in the last decade. Penn State. Baylor. Maryland. And Ohio State.

The “Buckeye Nation” should be embarrassed. Going into yesterday, I was of the belief that Urban Meyer would get suspended three games. After watching last night’s press conference, I have no clue how the suspension wasn’t greater or how somebody, whether Meyer or athletic director Gene Smith, wasn’t fired. The phrases “tone-deaf” and “disaster” have been thrown out a lot about the announcements were made by Meyer, Smith, and Ohio State President Michael Drake, and I think those terms are accurate. Meyer himself seemed to lack remorse as he read a statement in a manner so haphazard it seemed like he was reading a passage in English class. The second best coach in college football couldn’t even bear to look at reporters as he spoke, as if he himself knew the extent of ridiculousness coming out of his mouth. Once statements were made, Ohio State opened up for questions and Urban Meyer made the biggest gaffe in his entire career.

“What message do you have for Courtney Smith?” a reporter asked. Meyer took a long pause, blinked, glanced down for a beat, and then gave a damning response while looking forward.

“Well, I have a message for everyone involved in this. I’m sorry that we’re in this situation, and, um…I’m just sorry we’re in this situation.”

Meyer didn’t apologize to Courtney Smith, the victim in all of this. In fact, none of the three “leaders” at this university even said her name in the entire 25-minute press conference. Nobody took responsibility for this fiasco. Instead, Meyer played the victim, acting as if this whole thing was really about football and that he’d been inconvenienced by the entire process. I never got the sense that Meyer, Smith, or Drake understood what all of this was even about, and that’s a problem.

Then, to somehow add more fuel to the fire, a 23-page report was released later last night, shedding light on the information that the Ohio State Board of Trustees had while making the decision to suspend Urban Meyer for three games (and away from the football team until September 2nd) and athletic director Gene Smith without pay until September 16th.

Two things jumped out upon reading this document. First, this portion of the report was absolutely dumb-founding: 

Are you serious? So Urban adjusted his phone to make 100% sure that his text messages from past years couldn’t be accessed? If this was a criminal case, I believe that would be obstruction of justice. Second, this rationalization was baffling:

Urban takes medication that leads to significant memory loss? Significant enough to forget that he had a known domestic abuser who had used his position on the coaching staff to do lots of inappropriate things (purchasing sex toys and having them sent to the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, taking nude pictures at the White House, spending thousands at strip clubs, the list goes on…)? I just don’t buy that. If somebody that I’m around has done something I find uncomfortable, I may forget for a split second while we’re talking or in the same room. Maybe it’s not on my mind for an hour, tops. But to forget for years on end to the point where you continue to let a man stay employed? That doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I’ve got three questions now that the suspension has been handed out. Whether they’ll ever be answered remains to be seen, but they’re what I want to know. First, why did Urban Meyer go to bat and risk his career and reputation for this wide receivers coach? Position coaches can be replaced in ten seconds. It wouldn’t have been a big deal. I don’t buy the Earl Bruce angle whatsoever, either, and I think this answer will come to light soon. Whether it’s because Zach Smith has something on Meyer remains to be seen. Second, why did Meyer delete the texts? What didn’t he want us to see? I doubt that answer will ever come, but it’s the one question haunting me this morning. Finally, why didn’t either Meyer or Smith lose his job? While the report seems to blame Zach Smith keeping his job on a miscommunication, the bottomline is that these men allowed a known abuser to stay on the football staff. So who messed up? Did Urban Meyer ignore the recommendation to fire Zach Smith, if that ever came in? Did Gene Smith not take the situation seriously? Somebody is more at fault than the other, and they’re seemingly getting the same suspension. That rings false.

I really didn’t want my first edition of The Hangover to be about this story, but I woke up this morning with too many thoughts swirling in my brain. The bottomline is this: we have to be better. College football has never been great at staying with the times; And in a world where the microscope is on sexual and domestic abusers more so than ever before, it’s time for college football to get with the program. The Ohio State situation is embarrassing for all of us that love this game. Another brilliant college football season that starts in a week has been overshadowed by yet another scandal where winning seems more important than doing the right thing. That has to change. We have to change. The sport we love has to be better, and it has to happen now.

Gray’s Preseason Predictions

Here are my picks for all of the Power Five Conferences. I started this process back in June with some gut picks, then studied the rest of the summer until I finally landed on these numbers last week. I won’t dig into the reasoning (or else this article would turn into a novel), so just assume that they’re 100% accurate and don’t doubt them at all whatsoever. 

I’m kidding. If I were you, I’d doubt.

ACC

Atlantic

  1. Clemson: 11-1 (7-1)
  2. Florida State: 9-3 (6-2)
  3. Boston College: 9-3 (5-3)
  4. Louisville: 7-5 (4-4)
  5. Wake Forest: 6-6 (3-5)
  6. Syracuse: 6-6 (3-5)
  7. NC State: 6-6 (3-5)

Coastal

  1. Miami: 9-3 (6-2)
  2. Georgia Tech: 7-5 (5-3)
  3. Pittsburgh: 5-7 (4-4)
  4. Duke: 7-5 (4-4)
  5. Virginia Tech: 8-4 (4-4)
  6. Virginia: 5-7 (1-7)
  7. North Carolina: 3-9 (1-7)

Championship Game: Clemson over Miami

Big Ten

East

  1. Michigan State: 11-1 (8-1)
  2. Penn State: 10-2 (7-2)
  3. Ohio State: 10-2 (7-2)
  4. Michigan: 8-4 (6-3)
  5. Rutgers: 5-7 (2-7)
  6. Indiana: 3-9 (1-8)
  7. Maryland: 2-10 (0-9)

West

  1. Wisconsin: 11-1 (8-1)
  2. Iowa: 9-3 (6-3)
  3. Purdue: 6-6 (5-4)
  4. Northwestern: 5-7 (4-5)
  5. Nebraska: 6-6 (3-6)
  6. Minnesota: 6-6 (3-6)
  7. Illinois: 4-8 (2-7)

Championship Game: Michigan State over Wisconsin

Big 12

  1. West Virginia: 10-2 (7-2)
  2. Oklahoma: 10-2 (7-2)
  3. Texas: 9-3 (6-3)
  4. TCU: 8-4 (6-3)
  5. Iowa State: 7-5 (5-4)
  6. Kansas State: 7-5 (5-4)
  7. Oklahoma State: 7-5 (4-5)
  8. Baylor: 6-6 (3-6)
  9. Texas Tech: 4-8 (2-7)
  10. Kansas: 2-10 (0-9)

Championship Game: Oklahoma over West Virginia

Pac-12

North

  1. Washington: 10-2 (8-1)
  2. Stanford: 10-2 (7-2)
  3. Oregon: 9-3 (6-3)
  4. California: 7-5 (4-5)
  5. Washington State: 6-6 (3-6)
  6. Oregon State: 2-10 (0-9)

South

  1. Arizona: 9-3 (6-3)
  2. USC: 8-4 (6-3)
  3. Utah: 8-4 (5-4)
  4. UCLA: 5-7 (4-5)
  5. Arizona State: 5-7 (3-6)
  6. Colorado: 4-8 (2-7)

Championship Game: Washington over Arizona

SEC

Georgia and Alabama are on a collision course to Atlanta, and I’m not sure the Dawgs will lose twice in a row to the Tide in Mercedes-Benz Stadium

East

  1. Georgia: 11-1 (7-1)
  2. South Carolina: 8-4 (5-3)
  3. Florida: 8-4 (4-4)
  4. Missouri: 7-5 (3-5)
  5. Vanderbilt: 5-7 (2-6)
  6. Tennessee: 5-7 (1-7)
  7. Kentucky: 4-8 (1-7)

West

  1. Alabama: 12-0 (8-0)
  2. Mississippi State: 10-2 (6-2)
  3. Auburn: 9-3 (5-3)
  4. Texas A&M: 7-5 (4-4)
  5. LSU: 7-5 (3-5)
  6. Arkansas: 6-6 (2-6)
  7. Ole Miss: 6-6 (2-6)

Championship Game: Georgia over Alabama

Random Rankings

Before we get to my College Football Playoff Predictions, it’s time for Random Rankings. Last year, I used the second edition to present my favorite network television shows. Well, TV is much bigger than just CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, and the CW, so I thought I’d widen the scope. Here are my Top Five favorite shows on television right now.  *Disclaimer*: per usual, once Random Rankings are posted, they aren’t changing. So don’t get any ideas. I’m very stubborn (side note: I’ve included some of my favorite scenes from each show. POTENTIAL SPOILERS for all of them).

1. BoJack Horseman (Netflix)

I found this gem of a show over the summer and fell in love. Telling the story of an alcoholic, cartoon horse who used to be a TV star in the ’90s, BoJack Horseman uses it’s platform to accurately depict depression, addiction, and more. It’s hilarious, with amazing sight gags and quick dialogue, but it somehow finds a way to devastate you in every episode. As someone who struggles with issues of doubt and insecurities, I relate to a lot of the things BoJack himself deals with each season. Will Arnett, Alison Brie, and Amy Sedaris turn in career-best work with each episode, and the cameos are second-to-none (long live Character Actress Margo Martindale). And the penultimate episode of each season? Gut punch every time, guaranteed. If you haven’t watched this show, do it. You won’t regret it (WARNING: The clip below is a major spoiler, but it showcases the intense emotion of this show).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr6o5uDjBRI

2. The Good Place (NBC)

I wrote about this show last year, and somehow season two upped the ante. Starring the delightful Kristen Bell and Emmy-nominated actor Ted Danson (who, again, must play Jim Harbaugh in the eventual movie about his life), The Good Place is kooky, hilarious, and heartfelt. It finds a way to teach you ethics and morality without you realizing that you’re learning, and that makes it all the more remarkable. Michael Schur continues to be a genius.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWb_svTrcOg

3. This Is Us (NBC)

My number one show last year has dropped a few spots, but that’s not because of a dip in quality. Season two answered so many questions that carried over from season one, and the tears certainly didn’t slow down this past year. The acting continues to be the best on television, especially Mandy Moore, who continues to not get the credit she desperately deserves. This show will make you cry, laugh, and just feel good each week. We need a little more of that in the world today. Still, the most haunting five minute scene I’ve ever watched happened in season two, and I tear up every time I watch it (Imagine the bawling that happened when I first saw this; it was almost too much). Watch this show. Obvious spoilers in this clip here, but still worth a look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X05MC1nsARo

4. Westworld (HBO)

Does Westworld always make sense? No, and maybe that’s a good thing. Season two followed multiple storylines, bent time until it broke, and once again brought the emotion. The cast is phenomenal (special shout-out to the amazing James Marsden, Thandie Newton, and Anthony Hopkins), the action scenes and special effects are believable, and the mythos of this world created by Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy continues to astound. This is a show you’ll want to talk to people about, and that’s what makes it so special. The Alabama softball support staff had many conversations over the summer about this show and, while there were points of confusion, I think it’s safe to say we were all very entertained. Also, maybe the best episode of television this year came from this show and told the story of a character we never knew we cared about.

5. GLOW (Netflix)

Deciding which show to put in the final spot was hard (Sharp Objects and Barry on HBO were in contention), but I’ll give it to the Netflix hit GLOW. It’s hilarious and, in season two, occasionally devastating. Alison Brie is fantastic and Betty Giplin turns in the best performance of the series (particularly in season two). The ensemble aspect of this comedy adds to the quirks, as you slowly learn more and more about each of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. And this parody of a sing-along commercial for a cause? I watched this in Ireland over the summer with my roommate and we were singing this song for a week. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZYJ-bJtMXs

Gray’s College Football Playoff Predictions

Orange Bowl: #1 Clemson over #4 Alabama

It’s hard to win two straight national championships, and yet Alabama’s done that in recent history. I’m not sure I can bet on them to do it twice. Clemson is an obviously talented team; their defensive line is terrifying, and most of the nation is expecting Trevor Lawrence to make a name for himself already this season. The Tide will slide in even after an SEC Championship Game defeat to Georgia, but I don’t think they’ll be able to get past the Tigers in another CFP semifinal.

Cotton Bowl: #2 Georgia over #3 Michigan State

I’m big into motivation, and no team should be more motivated this season than Georgia. Decades of misery almost came to an end in the National Championship game last year, and it just slipped away. I don’t think Georgia will let that happen again. Michigan State is the team I’m hitching my wagon to this year. The Spartans return 20 overall starters from a team that one ten games a season ago, and the schedule sets up nicely with Michigan and Ohio State both coming to East Lansing (the game at Penn State on October 13th may determine whether or not this pick is correct). 

National Championship Game: #2 Georgia over #1 Clemson

I think it’s time for a title in Athens. Kirby Smart has this squad ready and, if the defense can make up for the loss of Roquon Smith, I expect the Bulldogs to hoist the trophy this season.

That’s all for the preseason edition of The Hangover! We’ll be back the Sunday or Monday (depending on my travels) after each week of college football. Praise the Lord we’re about to get started, because we need some action on the gridiron.