“Hello friends and Welcome to a Tradition like any other… The Masters: Student Union Edition” -Jim Nantz

The Master’s are here. The next stop on the Tiger Comeback tour has hit Augusta, Georgia, and you will find me glued to my laptop for the next few days. So, at around 1am last night in our Slack, I asked my fellow writers this question:

So, after a handful of responses and judgement from me, I present the 1st Annual SU Masters groups:

Group A: Jones, Manning, Jackson, and Nash

These are 3 of my favorite athletes to have ever graced their respective sports. Manning seems like he loves to crack cold ones, Jackson would drive 485, and Nash somehow integrated a behind the back pass to the game of golf. Then there’s me, Andy Jones. An All-League QB and once pitched a perfect game when I was 15.

Group B: Carl, Manziel, Daly, and Kennedy

The amount of beers that would be consumed in this group is very concerning, but they have JFK to keep them down to earth. Godspeed Clemson Carl

Group C: Butler, Iverson, Jordan, and Barkley

I thought Tre had the most electric 3 on 3 basketball team for his group, but then I saw it was Saquon. Still, MJ smoking cigars, AI giving out the most electric yet confusing interview, and Barkley somehow hurdling a golf cart, this group is Electric.

Group D: Robertson, Namath, Manziel, and Barkley

 

Will the real Bark Barkley please stand up? Manziel is already sloshed from the first group he was in and Broadway Joe probably is too busy with some lady friends, so Gray is stuck with broke ass swing Barkley.

Group E: Jakes, McAfee, Garnett, and Scott

LET’S GO CUZZO. I don’t know if Dan meant an actual Michael Scott or The Office, so i just put #OurMichaelScott because he’d be a helluva guy to play golf with. McAfee is gonna be cracking jokes and Garnett will be wearing a hood that somehow, by the will of God, doesn’t fall off of his head.

Group F: Guippone, Robinson, Mayfield, and Reynolds

 

I’d love to see PJ and Baker slam some beers and be judged by Robinson and Reynolds. Mostly to see Baker be judged for his height (6’0) by PGA team… smh

Group G: Norton, Pieters, Harmon, and Nantz

“Hello friends and welcome to a tradition unlike any other. Patrick couples rimming out for a birdie on yet another 18 securing himself second place. What a f***ing moron”

Group H: Collins, Smoker, Schmitt, and Spielman

#FootballGuy group featuring a BEAUTIFUL Flow-Hawk, and some tough guys. Expect Diesels Only and clubs to be snapped in half.

Group I: Tschida, Manziel, Barkley, and Smoltz

 

JFF and Barkley are gonna be very tired by the end of the day, but with our boy Sam and Marmaduke, this group would be a very good time.

“Not Turrible”-Barkley