I know this is something that must run through everyone’s mind, but I figured it should be on the internet. If you are interested in what I think about you can visit my blog at www.buckthoughts.gov.www/buckthoughts. Should open as a word document.
So who is who?
Annex:
Kelly Kapoor- Willie Taggart, Florida State
When you think of someone who says incoherent things and is just a ball of energy who does nothing, who do you think of? Well for me that is Willie Taggart. His all flash no substance attitude makes him the perfect fit.
Ryan Howard- Gus Malzahn, Auburn
Much like Ryan, Gus started his career looking like a genius and had a promising future for Auburn. Throughout the series, Malzahn has gone from a smart up-and-comer to an idiot. Last year was equivalent to Ryan’s “WUPHF” where it had a lot of promise that only led to more disappointment. Now we don’t expect anything from Malzahn.
Toby Flenderson- Scott Frost, Nebraska
The guy who has done nothing wrong, but everyone hates him anyways. Yes, his team hasn’t played well this season, but it is his first season. However, fans of UCF, people who don’t like UCF, and the entire state of Iowa have been merciless on Frost this season.
Accounting
Angela Martin- Nick Saban, Alabama
The most boring and least fun personality in college football. Things that are funny to him make us all scratch our head. However, he is the most efficient coach in college football.
Kevin Malone- Butch Jones, Alabama’s Water Boy
He’s an idiot and does everything Angela says without much objection. Need I say more?
Oscar Martinez- Dabo Swinney, Clemson
A very likable and successful individual. In fact the only person who has had a run in with Dabo, is Nick Saban.
Sales
Jim Halpert- Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State
A very underachieving individual, but has been capable of surprise before. Overall a guy who doesn’t give two craps about nothing and will definitely speak his mind. Both of them have weird haircuts too.
Dwight Schrute- Kirby Smart, Georgia
The biggest similarity these two share is their delusions of becoming the best head coach/regional manager in the office. Both had their opportunity. One of them they shoot a gun in the office, the other shot himself in the foot. You know which is which. Now, the only way Smart becomes best head coach in the office is if everyone ahead of him quits, or is declared brain dead.
Pam Beesley- Seth Littrell, North Texas
This one was probably the hardest one. In the end, I went with the guy who is doing a very good job and doesn’t make a whole lot of noise. There are probably a dozen or so coaches that could be described as a “Pam” so I went with a guy I like.
Stanley Hudson- Brian Kelly, Notre Dame
A grumpy grouch who never seems like he is happy and always has that look on his face like he’s ready to go home. I don’t know anyone besides Kelly that would even come close to this description.
Andy Bernard- Ed Orgeron, LSU
Name me another head coach who makes a lot of random noises and is hard to follow. Then we will talk. Not that Andy is hard to follow, but he does make a lot of noises.
Phyllis Vance- Gary Patterson, TCU
Again, another one where a coach does good work in a quiet manner.
Regional Manager
Michael Scott- Mike Leach, Washington State
I am guessing everyone who is reading this already knew where this was going. There is no other coach with Mike Leaches personality who yields similar results at the Division I level. And the day Leach leaves is the day that college football takes a massive hit in ratings…like Michael leaving The Office
Other:
Meredith Palmer- Mike Leach (again)
Creed Bratton- Bill Snyder, Kansas State
Todd Packer- Urban Meyer, Ohio State
Jan Levinson- Zach Smith, unemployed
Darryl Philbin- Dino Babers, Syracuse
Roy Anderson- Lane Kiffin, FAU