Let’s Set The Stage
2018 has not quite been the year of Clemson Carl. I kicked off the year by losing all of my money on Clemson in the CFP semis… then Georgia in the finals… then New England in the Super Bowl… then school and personal life just took a big steamy dump on my chest all of January and February (I won’t get into any more details, but understand that I was vulnerable as I hopped onto Twitter dot com this morning). Somehow that all culminated into the story of how I now hate bison, and I’m here to tell you all about it.
The Story
Today was the day I was going to turn things around. Woke up early, got a little work out in, and got to my 8 AM class early enough to catch up on social media before it started. I went through my normal routine: checked for updates on my favorite Barstool bloggers, then went over to the Student Union account to see what I had missed.
Well, will you look at that, the staff picks for week one of conference tournaments have been posted. Let’s see who my friends like! HA! Someone even gave a shout out to me for picking Ru-
Whew, had to take a deep breath and step back there. Surely, it’s just a typo. Nothing to get upset about. Let’s just read the blog.
Now I’m a little heated. I know Austin is doing this to get under my skin; he’s done this before in the slack and I kind of ignored it. But I wasn’t having it today. It was time to take this back to slack.
*First of all, yes all of my colleagues have to type out “daddy” if they want to address me in slack. It’s uncomfortable and powerful at the same time.*
No one responded to me in slack though. I felt like I was on the losing end of a break up. I didn’t want to directly call Austin out, just a little sub-slack to see if I could get a reaction from anyone. Unfortunately, the reaction never came. The fact that the “s” in my dear Rutgers was being neglected, only made me think about it more. I couldn’t take it anymore. A little over an hour later, I finally had to directly call him out.
He decided to double down.
Now I’m all the way pissed off. I need to let Austin know that I’m serious.
Perfect. Let him know that I’m a little crazy and angry right now. Andy punched a hole in a wall, so the threat of violence is there, but not necessarily any threat of direct harm to him. We can leave it at that… But Austin immediately responds with this.
I see his comment says “Rutger ppl get v mad” before even looking at the tweet and I AM SEEING RED. I look at that tweet for about .2 seconds before seeing the twitter name “BITCOINSZN” and I am not about to let Austin use that guy’s tweet against me. I hate bitcoin. I warned all of my buddies that they’d lose all of their money investing in it so late, and they just called me an idiot until they lost all their money. As per usual, I fire off an aggressive message without doing any research, and not fully understanding what I’m arguing about, while thinking that “Rutger” is some new of crypto currency.
A minute or two goes by and no one answers. I decide to look back at the original tweet.
God damn it. Now I know why no one answered. 2018 keeps on backing me up and running me over AGAIN. They think I’m an idiot. Gotta follow up now.
And that is why, as of 10:29 AM EST on 2/27/2018 I am firmly on #TeamNoBison … If your school’s mascot is a Bison and is playing basketball in March, you can guarantee that I’ll have money against them.
