PJ Guippone

The news about all the controversy in college hoops is just starting, but it is far from over. Even in the first week of controversy, the news is constantly evolving. Recently, a description of the ultimate college sports marriage was shown: the inseparable bond between Tom Jurich and Rick Pitino.

At this point, I imagine the two of them are soaking in the mountain air in a cabin somewhere in the Appalachians. Maybe they are holding hands while in adjacent bathtubs like in the Cialis commercials. Maybe they are baking cupcakes with red heart frosting on the top. Regardless, this is a marriage that ended like Bonnie and Clyde. Everyone deserves someone as loyal as Tom Jurich. Everyone deserves that level of devotion and caring. Imagine a world where everyone had someone like Rick Pitino has Tom Jurich. That is a world I would love to live in.

But, looking around college sports, I feel like this loyalty is everywhere. This loyalty is bred at the college level. There are many coaches with tenures unheard of at the professional level. There is a commitment to culture and direction that is seen only with the Patriots and the Spurs in the pros. The Jurich and Pitino marriage is only one example, but the emergence of this love affair makes way for the attention of numerous others.

Nick Saban and oversized running backs

In Nick Saban’s tenure at Alabama, he has had a seemingly endless parade of running backs big enough that the opposing defenses should have gone into orbit around them. Starting in 2010, his running backs have been Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson, Eddie Lacy, TJ Yeldon, Derrick Henry, Damien Harris and Bo Scarbrough. Of those backs, not a single one weighs in under 205 pounds. These men can move mountains, never mind defensive lineman. Also important to note, all of them are in the NFL other than Harris and Scarbrough, and those two are still at Bama.

Jay Wright and Villanova

Ever since the the Wildcats’ magical title run, Wright’s name has been in the rumor mill for “better” college jobs and maybe jobs in the NBA. He has left the door open for himself by saying, “never say never,” but one thing is for sure: Jay Wright loves his job at Villanova. To think he would ever leave for another college job is just absolutely ludicrous. Of course, the NBA is an extremely viable option. And sure, having the fifteenth highest salary in college hoops isn’t necessarily ideal. But, Jay Wright and Nova go together like orange juice and vodka on a Saturday morning. Believe what you want about his “never say never” claim, but Jay Wright is going to be a Wildcat for a long, long time.

Military academies and unwatchable offenses

Watching a guy break through a hole in the offensive line for a big run is a lot of fun. I have to admit that because there’s something about a man outrunning eleven other men that is just extremely exciting. But in one game, I’ll take it once, maybe twice before it loses its luster. The Army and Navy football teams try to do this on every. single. play.

If you like the triple option, then fuck you. Honestly if you enjoy it as an offense then I can’t respect any of your other football opinions. I’d find a way to disagree with you saying, “Saquon Barkley is a beast.” Please don’t speak if you like the triple option.

Tony Bennett and unwatchable offenses

Tony Bennett is a fantastic basketball coach. He has turned Virginia into one of the most consistent programs in the nation, while also being a model of integrity and class. The only problem with him is that he has also turned Virginia into an unwatchable offense. Their defense is absolutely elite and they are for sure a top-20 program in the nation, but it is just nearly impossible to watch them on the other end of the floor. They added a little offensive flair last year with McDonald’s All-American guard Kyle Guy, but now they are losing Perrantes, so Guy will be their main offensive focal point. Their focal point could be James Harden and it would still suck to watch. Bennett’s system just rides with a slow-tempo, low-possession game. But hey, it wins games, so he has much more to hang his hat on that the Military Academies.

Texas football and “being back”

For starters, I need something explained to me. Why does everyone give so many shits about Texas Football? For running the best recruiting state in the country, three conference titles and one national championship since 1996 isn’t really that impressive. They haven’t been a ten-win team since they lost to Alabama in the 2009 National Championship game. I get before that they had a run of nine straight seasons reaching that mark, but this has not been a nationally relevant program football-wise in seven years.

Regardless, for all of those seven years, it has been the year that Texas was going to “be back.” Remember this year? The hype. The endless hype. Yeah, well they lost their opener at home to Maryland and are sitting at 2-2. Remember when they hired Charlie Strong and Twitter exploded and he was going to pick the program up with his ginormous biceps and carry it on his ripped back? 6-7, 5-7, 5-7, one bowl appearance (a loss).

Living in Philly, one of my favorite sports opinions is that the Eagles will never win a Super Bowl. It’s just funny that a fan base this rabid will never get what they want. I’m going to add to that long-term futures bet with the fact that Texas will never be back. It’s a type of “Boy Who Cried Wolf” thing. Every year someone will say it until they get tired of it, but then that year Texas will actually finally be back but it will be too late. Everyone is done with them. The media forgets. Texas forgets. The Longhorns are dead.