Two time Grammy winner Justin Bieber. Three time MLB MVP Shohei Ohtani. Three time Oscar winner Meryl Streep. And former President Joe Biden. What’s the common denominator between those four?
They’re all represented by the talent agency CAA. It’s not shocking that a musician and athlete and actress have major representation, but a president fresh out of the White House who is 82 years old, what’s the angle? I don’t think and album or an attempt to play pro baseball is in the cards for Biden, but acting doesn’t seem like a tall task. It’d almost be like a reverse Reagan: instead of going from entertainment to politics, he’ll go from politics to entertainment.
With that being said, I’ve thought of a few movies coming out in the next two years that I’d like to see Biden not just make a cameo in, but star in and build up his filmography.
Bugonia (2025) dir. Yorgos Lanthimos
About two conspiracy-obsessed young men who kidnap the high-powered CEO of a major company because they’re convinced that she is an alien intent on destroying planet Earth, Biden feels like a natural fit. Not as the CEO though. I want Biden as one of the conspiracy-obsessed young men kidnapping the CEO. Granted, he’s not a young man anymore, but him co-starring with Jesse Plemmons as they kidnap Emma Stone and grill her about aliens would feed families. Bugonia comes out this year and with how many conspiracies are flying around in the political climate and Biden being thrown out by the Democratic party, he could go for total chaos and lean into the alien conspiracy.
F1 (2025) dir. Joseph Kosinski
It’d be a nice welcome to the CAA family if Biden and Brad Pitt, another CAA client, teamed up. How fun would it be to see the 82 year old politician ripping around for over two hours in an F1 car alongside Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, and Javier Bardem. Even better, if he’s the guy on the coms for the F1 racers. Bidens skewed southern dialect over a hazy radio in high octane situations would create insane anxiety on the track and for the viewers.
Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 (2025) dir. Emma Tammi
I didn’t see the first Five Nights at Freddy’s film. On top of that, I didn’t play the video game. Why you might ask? It’s because I’m an adult. Despite that, I won’t let my maturity get in the way of acknowledging that it’d be hilarious to see Biden playing one of those freaky animatronic monsters. The first Five Nights at Freddy’s film made $297.1 million dollars at the box office on a $20 million dollar budget. It’s an insane total, but one that could be doubled by casting Joe Biden in it. Emma Tammi would mend the weirdo teenage demographic with left wing lunatics and millions would be made.
Clay Face (2026)
One of the biggest, up and coming superhero worlds being built right now is Matt Reeves’ Batman. In that world as one of the villains is Clay Face and he’s getting his own film, which is being written by Mike Flanagan (that in and of itself is exciting). The film is supposed to debut in 2026, but no one’s been given the role of Clay Face yet. Weird coincidence, right? There’s actors like Brendan Fraser or Brendan Gleeson who could fit the role easy, but I’m going to start lobbying for Biden. Maybe Reeves and Flanagan knew he’d lose the election and are looking for cast Joe Biden as the menacing, disfigured villain. That’s at least what I’m hoping.
The Odyssey (2026) dir. Christopher Nolan
Christopher Nolan is assembling an all-star cast for his upcoming film that consists of Tom Holland, Matt Damon, Zendaya, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Charlize Theron, Himesh Patel, Benny Safdie, and many more. Why not add Joe Biden to the mix. There’s so many moving pieces in the story of Odysseus and I think Biden would fit as one of the villains. I mean, he’s played the villain to thousands of Palestinians over the past few years that playing Polyphemus or Scylla shouldn’t be much of an issue.
Scary Movie 6 (2026)
Who doesn’t love a good satire movie? The Scary Movie franchise has been doing the genre well for over three decades and adding Biden as a confused, doddering geezer would be entertaining. We’ve seen James Woods, Beetlejuice, George Carlin, and Shaq pop up in different Scary Movie’s. However, we’ve never seen a former president in a Scary Movie. Someone, please, make this happen.
Scream 7 (2026) dir. Kevin Williamson
While I’m not a huge fan of the franchise, who says no to Joe Biden as Ghostface? It wouldn’t be shocking, but it’d surely be better than Richie Kirsch from Scream 5 and Nancy Loomis from Scream 2. Or, Kevin Williamson casts Biden to make everyone think he’s Ghostface and it becomes the ultimate fake out to help save this dying franchise. Either way I need some executives to make it happen.