While we are a ways away from the 2024 presidential election, debates and polling are approaching quickly. I do get excited for debates and the caucuses because it’s absolutely looney and entertaining beyond belief. I like to think that some of these candidates like college football, but because they are politicians, they’ll never tell the truth on who they root for. That’s why I’m here. Let’s start with the 2024 Republican Candidates!
Donald Trump
It doesn’t matter what you think may have occurred in the 2020 election, Trump is not the president. Even though he hasn’t been in the White House for two years, he’s still claiming that he won. It’s a lot like how UCF claimed a National Title in 2017. Everyone got sick and tired of hearing from them and grew to hate them over time. I don’t think Trump would outright root for UCF, but he would respect them for going down swinging. You’d see him down at Mar-a-Lago playing golf with a Black Knights hat on.
Ron DeSantis
DeSantis is the governor of Florida, graduated from Yale, and served in the Navy. He could easily root for the Naval Academy, Florida, or his Alma mater: Yale. But those institutions are too liberal for the extremist DeSantis. He’s a Covid-19 denier and fought against the mask mandates with every ounce of power in his body. This means that DeSantis is rooting for Liberty. They had some success with Malik Willis, but DeSantis doesn’t even know who that is. He’s making this fandom pick purely off of the schools politics, and if you ask him about Liberty’s first game of the season vs Southern Miss, he’ll laugh and just say he hopes it’s a packed house.
Mike Pence
This one is a no brainer. Mike Pence is rooting for the Hoosiers. He used to host a cornball radio show in Indiana before he became a Representative for the state. I don’t see Pence winning the republican nomination, so the Hoosiers football team could call on him to do play-by-play. But beware Indiana fans, Pence did “stab” Trump in the back by not helping him overturn the 2020 election. If Indiana drops a game to Penn State or Wisconsin, he could jump ship and change his fandom in the blink of an eye.
Ted Cruz
Personally, I find Ted Cruz to be a bizarre human being. I also find Texas Longhorn fans to be even more bizarre individuals. It’s a match made in heaven. A weirdo Senator from Texas and some cultist moron fans are like peanut butter and jelly. All Cruz wants to do is fit in, so you’d catch him at a Texas home game in some awful orange jacket that an advisor told him looked good. He’d probably become the next big football meme, like Russell Wilson saying “Let’s Ride” or Eminem looking high out of his mind on ESPN.
Donald Trump Jr.
Donald Trump Jr. is a divisive figure. Sometimes he’ll follow the lead of his dad, other times he makes his own decisions. I don’t foresee DTJ falling his dads lead and rooting for UCF when it comes to college football. DTJ loves to hunt and fish so I could see him rooting for a team in the deep south or the midwest, but we need to keep in mind that Trump Jr. does like hip and trendy things. He’s a big fan of Barstool and wants to keep his youthful appearance up. That’s why I believe he’s riding for the Oklahoma Sooners.
You’d definitely see DTJ at some home games for the Sooners because he’ll be using it as leverage. Trump Jr. is a mover and a shaker. Not a mover. Not a shaker. But a mover and a shaker. While I don’t think he’ll win the Republican nomination, he’s thinking about his chances longterm. He’ll buy a hunting cabin in rural Oklahoma to develop his state citizenship so he can run for senate in the state. By going to a handful of Sooners games, he’ll show the residents of Oklahoma that he’s an average Joe. He’s thinking long game.
Liz Cheney
While Wyoming Representative Liz Cheney is a long shot to be elected president, she’s a die hard Cowboys fan. She longs for the good old days of Josh Allen throwing for 3,200 yards and 28 touchdowns for the Cowboys. Liz also longs for the days of her dad torturing possible terrorists in Gitmo. All Liz wants to see is Wyoming take home a Mountain West title and for water boarding to be brought back.
Chris Sununu
I don’t think a single soul would vote Sununu for president, but he’ll probably try and run so I figured I’d throw him a bone and toss him in the conversation. Sununu is a New England guy. Born and raised in New Hampshire, attended MIT, and is the governor of New Hampshire. With New Hampshire not having an FBS team, he’s rooting for the few FBS teams in the region: UConn, UMass, and Boston College. It feels very fitting. Sununu feels like a loser candidate that roots for losing programs.
EDITORS NOTE: This article is written in good humor. We loathe all politicians of all parties equally… Democratic Candidates Edition coming next week!
