Look, I know that hindsight is always 20/20, but after seeing Usher and company perform at last night’s Super Bowl Halftime show, it’s safe to say that anyone would’ve been better. And when I say anyone, I mean ANYONE. I thought of a few replacements that would’ve been better than Usher, but seeing that I don’t have a time machine, it feels like a moot point. But I’m still going to give my replacements.

The Killers

If you’re in Vegas, it feels disgraceful to not have The Killers perform. The Vegas-based rock band kills (pun sort of intended) whenever they perform. I saw them last March at Mohegan Sun and no matter what they played from Humans to Read My Mind to Mr. Brightside, they bang. Personally, I think that The Killers with a limited set list of just Mr. Brightside would have gotten the people going more than Usher, Alicia Keys, and Lil Jon. From frat bros to geezers, everyone would have loved hearing Mr. Brightside. Whether they played it two times, five times or fifteen times, it would’ve been an upper-echelon halftime show.

An Elvis Hologram

They do Michael Jackson hologram shows — why couldn’t we get an Elvis hologram last night. One of his most famous songs is Viva Las Vegas, which is a banger, and would’ve killed last night. Whether the hologram was of youthful Elvis or fat Elvis, which frankly is more electric, people would’ve been blown away. It would have first been in shock because they wouldn’t know if ethically it was okay to like the performance. But once we all got past that, hearing If I Can Dream would feel biblical.

Creed

If we gave Scott Stapp a Chiefs or 49ers jersey and the same props as 1993, then it would have been wraps. America yearns for another Creed halftime show and Roger Goodell knows this. He’s simply depriving the American population of it.

Patrick Mahomes Sr. Doing A Field Sobriety Test

Personally, I’m out on musical numbers at halftime, unless it is Creed. A spectacle that would have been more entertaining would have been to have Patrick Mahomes Sr. complete a field sobriety test. Him and his son are currently tied at three — Sr. has three DUIs and Jr. has three Super Bowl wins. If we brought out a Nevada state trooper and Patrick Mahomes Sr. and the trooper made him walk in a straight line or follow his finger, it would have been more engaging for the audience than Usher singing U Don’t Have To Call.