PJ Guippone

The celebrities in professional sports are extremely well noted. They get about air time as the players do. Next time you watch a Raptors game take a drink every time they reference or show Drake and see how long it takes you to die. Spoiler: I’ve never made it longer than a quarter and a half.

The landscape of celebrities as fans isn’t as well-noted in college, though. It is interesting because some are boosters while others are simply fans. Some programs are more accepting of the famous fans on the sidelines. LeBron can’t be denied of a sideline spot for Ohio State considering he is the state of Ohio. Others want their kids to focus on the game wholly and not be distracted by anything. More often, former players on the sidelines are the focus of media attention. Still, like LeBron, some celebrities break the threshold and show their fandom to millions thanks to the media. And it turns out, every single one is absolutely awesome.

Matthew McConaughey

Everyone loves Matthew McConaughey. If you disagree, that’s totally fine, just never speak to me ever because I know for a fact I don’t like your values as a human. McConaughey is a special breed of celebrities that is shown consistently while rooting on their team. He is a Texas fan, which leads me to believe he thought they were back this season. That is a check mark for him, but he is still one of the five most awesome people on the planet.

Then, this happened. He was talking to the Texas basketball team and I must say they better go undefeated. This stance has more power than the sun or a bulldozer or the Trojan army in 300. This stance could end wars without words attached. If literally an ounce of this power rubbed off on Texas’ basketball team, then they will win more games than they even play. Give me 41-0 or whatever is literally an impossible record because they are going to break college basketball this season thanks to McConaughey.

As a bonus, there is a rapper named J.I.D. and he is very, very good at rapping. He has a song called “Underwear” that is very funny and good. It’s refrain is partly Matthew McConaughey’s name for no reason in particular.

Papa John

The Papa has been linked to the NFL for a long time now thanks to a long-running ad campaign that includes himself alongside stars like JJ Watt and Peyton Manning. Really, I have always looked at this as a ploy by a really dorky dude to try to be linked to pro sports. But, the link to sports doesn’t stop there. During the beginning of the FBI scandal when Louisville came under the microscope, he started to flex his Booster props.

That’s right. Papa John has actual, real influence in something that isn’t subpar pizza. A man that made millions pumping out pizzas at lightning speed and getting them out the door thanks to insane deals also has legitimate, actual pull in the University of Louisville athletic program. Now that I am aware of this information, I am starting an official petition to rename the Louisville Cardinals the Louisville Pepperonis or something like that. Let’s go Peps!

Will Ferrell

Ferrell attended the University of Southern California. As he exploded in popularity and became an A-List celebrity, he kept his ties with the school. During Pete Carroll’s tenure at the school, there were many reports of Carroll bringing in Ferrell to help him with pranks and keep the locker room loose. At first glance, this is a very interesting story. But, look harder. Both Will and Pete have a double “r” and a double “l” in their names, which leads me to believe this is the universe showing that they were always meant to be together.

His connection with USC reached a pinnacle when he did the commencement speech for last year’s graduating class. Along with some very funny things and other very insightful things dressed as really funny things, Ferrell broke into song to the tune of Whitney Houston’s “I will Always Love you,” which people only try to sing if they are trying to be funny or enjoy falling flat on their face. Luckily for Ferrell, he is really funny.

Bill Murray

There is a thing that floats at the top of the Bill Murray rumor mill that he is a huge ass hole. Do what you will with that information, but I really couldn’t care less. I will never meet Bill Murray, so all I know about him is that he made a lot of funny movies in the ’80s and he is a rabid sports celebrity.

Regardless, Bill Murray is best known as a Cubs fan. Much like Drake for the Raptors, a Bill Murray during the Cubs drinking game would claim casualties. Last year during March Madness, he expanded his sports fan portfolio, though.

Throughout the Xavier games during March Madness, a Bill Murray on the TV drinking game would have killed an entire army. The story is actually pretty great, though. Head coach Chris Mack hired Murray’s son, Luke, as an assistant on his staff. Being a great and supportive dad doesn’t sound like an ass hole to me. Take that, rumor mill!