There’s a reason it’s called gambling, folks. Last week, we had some super close calls. LSU stopped Florida on fourth and goal to cover (we had Florida), Missouri missed two extra points to only win by eleven (the spread was twelve), and Notre Dame blew a 20-3 lead in the third quarter to give USC the cover (yep, we had the Irish). Still, Week Eight provides a clean slate, a new chance to put our hopes and dreams into random teams just because we like a number. Remember, I myself won’t actually be betting (mainly because I don’t know how), but I’ll still offer my guarantees for each weekend. Here’s what we did last week:

Texas (+11) vs. Oklahoma (WIN)

Under 40.5-Michigan State at Wisconsin (WIN)

Temple (+5.5) vs. Memphis (WIN)

Over 49.5-Rutgers at Indiana (LOSS)

Over 52.5-Mississippi State at Tennessee (LOSS)

Notre Dame (-10.5) vs. USC (LOSS)

Florida (+13.5) at LSU (LOSS)

Missouri (-12) vs. Ole Miss (LOSS)

Yes folks, that puts us at 3-5 for the week and 8-9 on the season. Not great, but plenty of room for improvement. Again, take these bets at your own risk. I’m new at this. Now, without further adieu, let’s dive into my Week Eight Picks in the newest of Gray’s Guarantees.

Louisville (+24) vs. Clemson

Yep, we’re starting with this game right off the bat. There are a number of reasons why I think Louisville can cover this enormous spread. First, this is Clemson’s first noon game of the season, and I think we’ll see a little bit of sleepiness to start off. Second, this Louisville team is actually pretty talented, especially on the offensive end. The Cardinals are averaging 42.3 points per game in ACC play, and back-up quarterback Evan Conley looked pretty solid against Wake Forest (12/18 for 196 yards, two touchdowns, and an interception). Remember when Louisville ran for 249 yards against a Notre Dame defense only giving up about a 150 a game this year? I do. My only worry is if Clemson gets out to an extremely hot start (like last weekend with Florida State) against Louisville’s 102nd ranked defense and just destroys the Cardinals mentally. If that doesn’t happen, I expect Louisville to get at least 24 points. That may result in a backdoor cover, but I see the Cardinals covering nonetheless.

Wisconsin (-31) at Illinois

Illinois isn’t scoring a point because Wisconsin doesn’t give up points. Boom, easy as that. And, I’m sorry, you expect the Fighting Illini’s 107th ranked rushing defense to slow down Jonathan Taylor, Jack Coan, and the rest of this Badger offense? That’s hilarious. Wisconsin will be able to name the score, and I’ll be shocked if that number is any lower than 35.

Washington State (-12.5) vs. Colorado

Last week, Oregon roasted the Buffaloes 45-3 in Eugene behind Justin Herbert’s 261 passing yards and two scores. This week, Colorado travels Washington State, the top passing team in the country thanks to quarterback Anthony Gordon. The Cougars should be fired up and angry after a last-second loss last weekend at Arizona State to stretch the current losing streak to three games, and what better way to get back on track than facing off against a Colorado defense that’s 117th in team passing efficiency defense and 123rd in passing yards allowed? Washington State wins this by at least two touchdowns on Saturday in Pullman.

LSU (-18.5) at Mississippi State AND Under 61.5

We’re pulling double-duty in Starkville, folks! Why is this number so small? LSU enters the weekend 3rd in third down percentage, 2nd in passing offense, 1st in scoring offense, and 2nd in team passing efficiency. Mississippi State, on the flip side, just lost to Tennessee 20-10 and is ranked 68th in total defense and 78th in team passing efficiency defense. Guys, Joe Burrow is about to shred this Bulldog secondary. I mean, it won’t even be close. Moreover, Mississippi State is 94th in total offense and the best part of their team, the running game, is just 42nd in rushing offense. LSU comes in with the 13th-best run defense and 25th in total defense, and I’m not expecting the Bulldogs to break the trend of poor play against the number two team in the country. LSU wins 45-7, giving you the cover AND the easy under.

Over 61-Tennessee at Alabama

The last three seasons against Tennessee, Alabama has scored 58, 45, and 49 points. Add that trend to the Crimson Tide scoring an average of 51 points in conference play, and it’s hard to see the Volunteers’ 48th-ranked defense keeping Alabama below the half-century mark. Throw in some garbage time points given up to Tennessee like we’ve seen this year in Alabama’s SEC games, and you’re looking at a 55-14 kind of game at least. Nick Saban’s club has hit the over four of six times this season, and I expect that to continue on Saturday in Bryant-Denny.

Ole Miss (+6.5) vs. Texas A&M

Since joining the SEC, Texas A&M is 2-1 against Power Five opponents the week after playing Alabama. The combined margin of victory? Nine points, plus a 20-point loss to Ole Miss in 2015. Don’t underestimate the toll playing the Crimson Tide takes on teams the next week or two. Throw in the fact that Ole Miss is playing decent football right now and has run the ball well of late (19th in the country in rushing offense), and we’re looking at a pretty close contest in Oxford on Saturday. I’ve got Ole Miss winning outright but, even if the Aggies get a victory, it’ll probably be by a field goal.

Missouri (-21) at Vanderbilt

Vanderbilt has lost SEC games by 24, 28, and 25 this season, and enter this weekend ranked 124th in total defense. On the flip side, Missouri comes in ranked 21st in total offense and has been getting solid production from running back Larry Rountree III (126 yards and two scores last weekend vs. Ole Miss). I know this goes against my policy of picking against recently ranked teams going on the road, but I’m not sure how Vanderbilt keeps this one close. I’ve got Missouri covering with ease in Nashville.

UAB (-16) vs. Old Dominion

Since the football program was revived, UAB hasn’t lost a single game at home. Plus, in the last two seasons, the 5-1 Blazers have covered at home six of seven times. Old Dominion comes in with a 1-5 record, the lone win coming by three over Norfolk State. Plus, bringing in an offense literally ranked last (130th) in total offense isn’t the best recipe for success against the Blazers, who sport a ranking of seventh in total defense. All signs point to a big win, folks. Think something along the lines of 31-3 or 38-7.

That’s it for this week. Let’s go 9-0 and come back and do it again next week. Enjoy the college football, folks!