THIS IS A WEEKLY BIG TEN POWER RANKINGS, by Luke Maiers.

What did we learn this week in the Big Ten? Michigan State can’t wait for basketball season, TDs for Harambe has won more at TCF Bank Stadium than the Gophers have and Uncle Rico could play some college football. Let’s get to this week’s rankings.

1. Ohio State: That was quite the challenge by the Badgers, but Brutus showed up and won in a hostile environment. For the second straight game, Barrett played like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. If it wasn’t for his ability to run, he might as well have been a sack of potatoes in the pocket. OSU has Penn State this weekend at 7:00 pm on ABC. The Buckeyes SHOULD win, but this has ‘trap game’ written all over it.

2. Michigan: Coming off a bye, the Wolverines still managed to move up in the polls thanks to Clemson sucking it up against NC State. Michigan has the Illini this weekend so this should be a good ol’ pounding. This could be another repeat of the Rutgers game from two weekends ago. Maybe only 77 points this game though.

3. Nebraska: Barely escaping against a decent Indiana team is acceptable, but come on, there is no way that the Cornhuskers are jumping Michigan. The West is a three team race between 3, 4 and 5 on this list, but Nebraska’s schedule gets ridiculously harder after their next game against Purdue. With Wisconsin, Iowa and Ohio State still on their schedule. If Nebraska gets the wins they should, they will have to play their asses off against the other three teams and they will find themselves in Indy come December.

4. Wisconsin: If you are a Badgers fan, you should have been disappointed at first, but once you realize that you took the BEST team in the nation to overtime, you should feel good about your team. With that being said, Wisconsin has lost to their only two real challenges this year in OSU and Michigan. This team is more likely than not, eliminated from the College Football Playoffs, but they still can get to Pasadena.

5. Iowa: Finally, a blowout win. And a key word for this team for the rest of the season is “destiny”. The Hawkeyes control their own destiny, but they have to play like this every game to take advantage of this opportunity. Iowa has Wisconsin this weekend in Iowa City, so if the Hawks can pull this upset, they are as legitimate as Nebraska in the West.

6. Penn State: Coming off of a bye only to get to play Ohio State is like getting punched in the face right after a nap. It sucks, but the Nittany Lions will have to find a way to stay competitive in this game. Somehow, someway this mediocre team has found a way to get into the top six, but the lower half of the Big Ten is constantly changing so I imagine we will see a drop next week.

7. Indiana: Indiana against Northwestern. Not exactly an appealing game, but the feathers will be flying Saturday from the pillow fight that will be happening on the field. The Hoosiers need this win more, so maybe there will be a sense of urgency on the field. The offense should be easy for them, give the ball to Redding.

8. Minnesota: It turns out that Minnesota doesn’t have a good quarterback on their roster, but they still handed it to Maryland thanks to an explosive run game. I don’t really have anything good to say about this team aside from that they have a nice stadium. Unfortunately for Gopher fans, the only team to win some games in there has been the Minnesota Vikings and the campus rec squad, TDs for Harambe.

9. Maryland: After starting 4-0, this team has dropped two straight games, and this team is starting to come to their midseason form. Bad. Lucky for them, one of the worst teams in the Big Ten is on the Terrapin’s schedule, the Michigan State Spartans. And after seeing that MSU gave up 54 points to Northwestern this past weekend, I like Maryland to win this game.

10. Northwestern: I see you Northwestern. The Wildcats are sitting at 2-1 in conference with their two wins being against Iowa and Michigan State. This offense can score some points and with Indiana coming to town this weekend, I’ll definitely take the over on this one. I expect a “Big 12 amount of points” which means defense is optional.

11. Illinois: *Gives Illinois a cookie* That is all they get for beating Rutgers. The defense only gave up seven points but I would also like to point out that in the last twelve quarters, the Scarlet Knights have only scored seven points so it is not that impressive. Illinois is still not a good team, so their main role in the league this year is to play spoiler.

12. Michigan State: LOL. I don’t even know what to say except for that their might be a three way tie for the last spot in these power rankings. This team is becoming a punchline in college football, and it is a funny joke that they are a part of.

13. Purdue: Iowa beat you so bad that it resulted in the firing of your coach. Part of me feels bad for the guy, but the other half thinks that he should have done his job better. I have heard some rumors of Les Miles to Purdue, and I hope it happens. Fans deserve to be excited about something instead of being ashamed the whole time.

14. Rutgers: Another week, another loss. What’s new out east? Keep drinking your Boston Lagers and just remember that life is worth it. The Scarlet Knights might lose every game for the rest of the season.