PJ Guippone

I have a beef that is pointless and a complete waste of time but also I didn’t have to go to work today and I just ate my last pack of ramen so I’m bored. This picture of Saquon Barkley golfing came out today and the man just continues to prove himself to be a specimen. I mean I’m on this train, too. I wrote a god damn origin myth about this man because there is simply no way he’s an average human being.

But I think we’re getting a little carried away with this picture as a whole. Barstool of course was on top of the picture, which was posted as an instagram story by the New York Giants’ account, but read that caption. Guys, look, I am as big a fan as a nice slab of man meat as the next dude, but he’s straight up not going to hit that golf ball.

Come on: front foot off the ground, club not high enough on the backswing, stance that looks much more like he just pooped himself while walking to an exam with his room mates (not saying I have any experience with this). This is just bad fundamentals. Those legs (oh my god those legs) the have to be used to run through poor defenseless linebackers, not to be the base of a bad golf swing.

I might be wrong and ‘Quon might be a scratch golfer, who knows. But from this still, I immediately started thinking about that celebrity swing coach show Charles Barkley embarrassed himself on. I’m here for the nicknames coming out of this picture and the completely unadulterated view of how much of a freak Saquon Barkley is, but let’s not kid ourselves for a second that he can break 100 out on the links.