Andy Jones

“College Baseball Is Fun” – PJ Guippone

College Baseball is here, and oh boy we are off to a very hot start. Perfect Games, more No-No’s than a Mutumbo Finger Wave, and now we have the greatest rally tool of all. Rally Caps, Rally Monkey, and Rally Possum soooooooooo 2017. Ladies and Gents, I present to you….. Rally Chest:

Ole Miss was playing Murray State and in the bottom of the 9th, the two teams were tied 6-6. Then, it happened. The all new but sacred RALLY CHEST. With bases loaded, Murray States pitcher was caught in the majestic chest hair of Ole Miss’ dugout and sailed a pitch past the catcher, allowing the scoring run to jot home.

As of right now, twitter is fairly hush hush about it, but i’m all in on it. Rally caps are basically a stone wheel and the Rally Chest is the IPhoneX. I would pay money to hear the conversation in the dugout when a player suggested it. I Imagine it went something like this:

“Listen, this is gonna sound weird, but unbutton the top 3-4 buttons on your jersey”
“Why”
“Do you wanna win this game Dale or not?”
“Ehhh alright, whats the worse that can happen? We go viral?”

Ahhh, nothing like a little chest hair to get the bats warm and some how win a game. Ole’ Miss only sports team with no drama has now become my new favorite sports team. This will now be my new tradition for everything. Biology Final and I’m stuck on what a mitochondria is? You bet your ass I will expose my chest to help me remember. Intramural Sports? Rally Chest even if my team is up by 50. I will utilize the rally chest for every occasion and I don’t care who judges me or my pale Irish skin. So Ole Miss, Congrats on your so to be Undefeated season and have fun having all of your hairy, sweaty, awkward looking chest all over the internet for the rest of time.