You’re scrolling through Instagram, still in bed trying to decide whether or not to head back to sleep for another hour or start your Saturday before noon. Then the biggest WTF moment of the day occurs when you scroll upon an ad for something related to the dream you had last night.
“How’d it know? How did it know I dreamt about Raisin’ Cane’s chicken and Andy’s Custard? How’d Amazon know my shower head broke?”
When they’re right, it grabs your attention, but when the algorithm is more-often-than-not wrong, nobody bats an eye.
But did you know that you can access the keywords that Instagram uses to formulate advertisements for you?
Open the Instagram app on your phone > Open settings > Click Security > Click Access Data > Scroll down and click under Ads Interests “View All” > enjoy!
Sports
If you’re like me and eat, drink and breathe sports, your results are bound to include a few teams in what’s being pushed onto your timeline. However, which teams those are can be all over the map. For example:
NFL: New England Patriots, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Seattle Seahawks
Okay, I’m not a Patriots hater, but I’m not a fan by any stretch of the imagination. Let’s just agree Thomas Brady is the most beautiful man on our planet and go our separate ways.
I also lived in Kansas for a year surrounded by Chiefs fans, a rival of the Raiders. As for the Eagles, I need a Parkey-less rematch, ASAP. Week 9 can’t come soon enough.
MLB: Kansas City Royals, Chicago Cubs
As I mentioned, living thirty minutes from Kansas City, having the Royals and Chiefs on this list should come as no surprise.
And then there’s the greatest team in sports: the Chicago Cubs.
NHL: St. Louis Blues, Boston Bruins
Cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
NCAA: Clemson University
Considering that I lost a bit of money betting AGAINST the Tigers this January, it’s only fair I’m reminded of them.
LET’S. GET. WEIRD.
Rugby League
Never been in one. Never seen one.
Trulia
Advertising real estate to nineteen-year-olds. Makes sense.
Warrior (2011 Film)
Appears to be a movie about an MMA fighter played by Tom Hardy. Never seen it.
Prom
Didn’t go… I went to Bears prom the night of my senior prom and I had way more fun there than I could’ve had.
Shark
Not even a specific type. Just the word “shark” is being advertised on my timeline.
Portrait Photography
I was just thinking about how cool it would be to see The Louvre.
Soccer mom
Just what I aspire to be.
County seat
Is there an election coming up?
Physical exercise
No thanks.
Pomeranian Voivodeship
WTF.
List of United States cities by population
- New York City
- Los Angeles
- Chicago
- Houston
IPTV
I THINK that’s illegal streaming services, but I’m really not sure. I pay for my Netflix and Hulu like a good consumer.
Baby-led weaning
Good choice. We probably should wean our children away from led.
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Finally! Something I can get behind!
Prom (film)
In the words of Bryan Collangelo, find a new slant!
Figure drawing
Unless this is stick-figure drawing, I’m not involved.
Trucks
Have you ever tried parking a friend’s pick up truck after never driving one before? Maybe the toughest thing I’ve ever attempted.
Bobby Womack
I had NO clue Bobby Womack died five years ago.
Tumbling (gymnastics)
I’m 6’3, 260 lbs… I don’t think I’ll be joining the Jesse White Tumblers any time soon.
So… Instagram,
Seriously, what the hell was with Pomeranian Voivodeship?
